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CHUCK NORRIS FACTS
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LOL HAY GUYS I FOUND THIS ON THE INTERNETS I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY SO I’M SHARING IT. IT’S THESE “FACTS” ABT CHUCK NORRIS:
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no ‘ctrl’ bumon on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your bum, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he’d kick your bum.
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in “I hope I don’t get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.”
Chuck Norris’s show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn’t run.
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’ age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Most boots are made for walkin’. Chuck Norris’ boots ain’t that merciful.
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
MOAR: HTTP://WWW>CHUCKNORRISFACTS>COM
I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER
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| Posted On: 06/15/2009 2:31AM |
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# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
# Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. # Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
# Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
# Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
# Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
MOAR: HTTP:??CHUCKNORRISFACTS>COM
I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER
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| Posted On: 06/15/2009 5:18AM |
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chuck norris facts werent fumny even when they were new, LIKE 10 YEARS AGO. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 06/15/2009 8:28AM |
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SIG-ENABLING MOCK-CONGLER Posted:
O RLY? THATNKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT
I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER
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| Posted On: 06/15/2009 9:55AM |
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