PoopShooter Posted:

You sleep

You wake up

Stranger wanna get high

You get high

Can’t focus I can’t stop

You got me spinning round, round, round, round (like a record)

Can’t focus it’s too hot (inside)

You’ll never get to Heaven, if your scared of getting high

(Boy, boy)

Let me keep freaking around, I wanna get down

And I’m a red-blooded woman, what’s the point of hanging around?

(Boy, boy)

I wanna keep turning it down, when this girl wants to rock with you, yeah…

(Boy, boy)

THIS IS EPIC (ALLCAPS)

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi

You: hi

You: are you intrested in satanistic rituals?

Stranger: Nope

Stranger: are you?

You: do you know any 18 yo female virgin that has no problem in dying?

Stranger: No do you?

You: i hope i did lol

Stranger: Why?

You: to sacrifice her of course

You: what you thought, some sick defloration?

Stranger: ehm ?

Stranger: No

You: the satan accepts only virgins

Stranger: ohh ..

Stranger: So are you uPunk or Emo or someting?

You: no

You: im satanist

You: punk are perverts and emos are retards

Stranger: serously?

You: yes

Stranger: haha

You: im also troll

You: in forumwarz

Stranger: Haha OKay

Stranger: So are you a boy or a girl?

You: im a 18 yo virgin that likes to sacrifice other virgins, thought i told you

You: girl

Stranger: Okay

Stranger: So you wanna dye virgin?

Stranger: die*

You: i dont die, i only sacrifice

Stranger: Okay, How many have you sacrificed?

You: 5 each time

Stranger: Haha lol

You: once eveery full moon

Stranger: This is a joke? ehh?

You: no why?

Stranger: Then you are sick

You: thanks

Stranger: No ploblem

Stranger: problem*

You: you are sicker talking to me

Stranger: nope

Stranger: but please find another hobby

You: hmm you have a point

Stranger: Yeah i know

You: killing is addictive you know?

Stranger: I didn’t know that

Stranger: SO how many have you killed

Stranger: ?

You: round 60

You: for 2 years now

Stranger: I have lost count of how many I’ve killed ^^

You: shame

You: why do you kill?

You: i mean i have a reason

Stranger: Why?

You: whats youre reason to kill

You: ?

Stranger: Fun

You: you sick pervert

Stranger: Your?

You: i sacrifice to satan and you do it for fun?

You: just think about theire families

Stranger: u to

Stranger: sacrifice a nother human

You: sacrifice is different than killing

Stranger: Why did you call it killing?

You: you *kill* for fun, i *sacrifice* for my deeds

Stranger: Which deeds

You: my faith in satan

Stranger: Okay, i wasn’t serious about killing. i haven’t killed anyone

Stranger: Why do you take another humans life?

You: because the necronomicon says that to create a link with a deity like satan, you must make an act of greater spiritual response

You: killing a human, is the biggest violation against nature

Stranger: Okay so did you get contact?

You: killing 5 pure humans, is the greatest act of evill

Stranger: Okay, where are you from?

You: hell

Stranger: Okay, there you roined the joke

Stranger: If you believe in satan, open you eyes.

You: i have them open

Stranger: Not that way

You: ??

Stranger: You can’t see it’s foolish to sacrifice another human?

You: ...no

Stranger: YOU are SICK!

You: ok

You: ill go burn some bibles

Stranger: Do you got facebook? Log in to see images!

You: why you ask?

Stranger: because i feel like i have to make you change

Stranger: beleave in some good

You: its too late sorry

Stranger: Okay but can i please get it anyway

You: no

Stranger: So you have undone what you have done?

Stranger: huh?

You: i cant return these girls back to life …... yet

Stranger: What do you mean with yet?

You: i may aquire powers to resurrect

You: i dont know yet

Stranger: Can i just get you facebook?

You: i said no

Stranger: You can delete me anytime

You: i know

Stranger: Then why?

Stranger: Then please tell me where you are from?

You: because you will stalk me

Stranger: No i’ll not

You: you men are … creeps

Stranger: Come on tell me where you are from

You: i live in greece

Stranger: i didn’t expect that

You: why?

Stranger: dunno

You: greece has a very large satanistic community, despite the high religiousness

Stranger: Okay

You: where are you from?

Stranger: what will you achieve by beein satanistic?

You: i may become a vampire …

You: what do you expect me to achieve?

Stranger: happiness

You: power

Stranger: Are you happy as you are now?

Stranger: And Why live to die?

You: yes i am happy

Stranger: i live to live

You: despite the blackness that burns my soul

Stranger: Then find the brightness

You: what, are you gonna compel me?

You: like excorcist?

Stranger: Yes … No i can’t. its you choise

Stranger: But i don’t think its the right way to live

You: youre opinion i guess

Stranger: but I’m not sure if there is something up or down there at all

Stranger: I’m kristen myselve

You: christian you mean?

Stranger: yeah sorry

You: ok, well i started as atheist

Stranger: Okay that’s a huge jump. from Atheist to sanist

Stranger: satanist

You: yep

You: i guess youre an american right?

Stranger: Nope i live in Eu

You: ah ok

Stranger: hehe

Stranger: can i please see a picture of you?

You: no

You: i know you want to see some gothic **** beside all

Stranger: but are you guthic?

You: no

You: i seem bit dark

Stranger: Okay

Stranger: But i’ll say goodbye now. all this satanisme makes me a little depressed

You: Well i gotta go. By the way, you were the victim of mine most succesfull troll by now

You: and im a guy

You: and i never sacrificed

You: and you are pwned

You: fairwell

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: WHO DIS

Stranger: male, you?

You: THIS IS BLACKENSTEIN

Stranger: Ohh

You: YOU GONNA EAT ALL YO CORNBREAD

Stranger: wtf

Stranger: bye

You: IMMA **** IN YO CEREAL BOWL

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I was just now browsing this thread innocently, and was quickly surprised to see a post from myself in it. I now have finished reading said post with fresh eyes.

I want to take this opportunity to say that I am hilarious and ****ing awesome.

Sincerely,

—Bashy

Bashy Posted:

You: Hi, friend!

Stranger: Hello!

You: I just choked briefly on a bit of peanut!

Stranger: Oh no!

You: It’s okay, I’m okay now. Also, I am not allergic to peanuts.

Stranger: I’m laying in bed with sore legs. Log in to see images!

You: That is a disaster! Why is it that your legs are sore?

You: Did they choke on bits of peanuts?

Stranger: I went for a run, didn’t wear the right shoes, now everything hurts.

You: Perhaps you should look into those new Vibram shoes. They resemble rubberized Bigfoot feet. *Wearable* bigfoot feet.

Stranger: No way!

Stranger: I’ll stick with my New Balances.

You: New Balance are good shoes. They have the ability to balance.

Stranger: Where are you from?

You: I’m from Prussia. Where are you from?

Stranger: California

You: Oh, I know that state! That’s where the Raisins come from! I love their music.

Stranger: Oh joy!

Stranger: Those Vibram things are heinous

Stranger: Also, they’re not very feminine at all.

You: You could paint them festively pink! Like your…

You: ... favorite color.

Stranger: I feel like that would make them worse.

You: They can’t get much worse, visually.

You: ... maybe some add-on culottes…

Stranger: Dear god, they’re worse than Crocs.

You: That’s an achievement, you understand!

Stranger: This is true.

Stranger: You know, we have an entire store here devoted to Crocs.

You: That’s a testament to Capitalism if ever I heard one.

You: I should open an order-by-phone Crocs store called Dial-A-Croc. I’d be so clever.

You: ... it’s a pun on “Crocodile.”

You: ... fabulous person.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Heey !

You: YO YO YO WHT UP HOMIE

Stranger: LFMAO

Stranger: lmfao !

You: SORRY MAH CAPLOCK IS BROKEN

Stranger: its okay

Stranger: asl ?

You: ASL WHAT THAT IS THAT LIKE THE CREW YOU ROLL WIT

Stranger: AAHHAHA no

You: I ROLL WIT BLOCK K NIGGUZ

Stranger: its means age sex location .

You: OH

Stranger: LOL

You: 32/M/BLOCK K BREAK ROOM

You: WHAT ABOUT U

You: I WORK IN THE KITCHEN TOO SO I CAN BUY STUFF IN COMMISSARY

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Horny girl willing to send pics? Log in to see images!

You: YO YO SUP DAWG

You: HELL NAW

You: THIS IS BLACKENSTEIN

You: I ROLL WIT THE BLOCK K fine upstanding member of societyZ

You: WHO DIS

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: **** YOU

You: o sorry wrong window

You: hi

Stranger: lol whats up

You: nothing i was just working on my site

Stranger: cool

You: i built this thing called LMOS

You: it’s like an alternative operating system that i want to make open source someday

You: but for now i need to work on it some more

Stranger: ok

You: you want to check it out

You: you can see my blog on it

Stranger: sure

You: ok

You: LAST MEASURE HAS BEEN REMOVED is my site, my project is called LMOS or last measure operating system

You: it’s supposed to be a windows replacement but you can run it on a mac too

You: hence it’s the “last” measure

Stranger: haha yeah

You: oic you must be familiar with this project

Stranger: so r u like really smart?

You: not really i need a programmer

You: plus my website has a major bug that i cannot seem to fix

Stranger: how old r u?

You: whenever you go there it spawns hundreds of windows that contain shock images while playing “IM LOOKING AT GAY PORNO” through the speakers at full volume

You: can you check out my source code and see wtf im doing wrong

You: im 42

Stranger: o ok

You: can u fix it maybe

Stranger: gay fine upstanding member of society bumosiation of america???

You: o u heard of it

Stranger: no goodbye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: sup nugga

Stranger: hi

You: want to see my blog

You: i have pics of my male reproductive organ on it

You: LAST MEASURE HAS BEEN REMOVED

Stranger: k

You: ok u tell me what yu think

You: hay nugga

You: wtf u think

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

ok this **** has totally gotten boring

YO fine upstanding member of society, GTFO fine upstanding member of society, LET SOME REAL TRULLZ DO DA GOOD JOBA

YES BLACKENSTEIN, I TALK TO YOU