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Bump

7 o’clock in the morning and the rays from the sun wake me

I’m stretching and yawning in a bed that don’t belong to me

Then a voice yells “good morning darling” from the bathroom

Then she comes out and kisses me and to my surprise she isn’t you

Now I’ve got this dumb look on my face like “what have I done”?

How could I be so stupid to have been laid in to the morning sun

Must have lost the track of time, oh what was on my mind?

From the club went to her home, didn’t plan to stay that long

Here I am quickly trying to put on my clothes

Searching for my car keys trying to get on up out the door

Then she stretched her hands in front of me

Said “you can’t go this way”

Looked at her like she was crazy

Said “woman move out my way”

I Said “I got a wife at home”

She said “please don’t go out there”

“Lady I’ve got to get home”

She said her husband was coming from the stairs

“?? quiet, hurry up and get in the closet”

She said “don’t you make a sound or some **** is going down

I Said “why don’t I just go out the window”

“yes, except for one thing, we’re on the 5th floor”

Think, ****, think, ****, think… “quick put me in the closet”

And now I’m in this darkest closet trying to figure out

Just how I’m gonna get my crazy bum out this house

And he walks in and yells “I’m home”

She says “honey I’m in the room”

He walks in there with a smile on his face saying “honey I’ve been missing you”

She hops all over him and says “I’ve cooked and ran your bathwater”

I’m telling you now this girl is so good she deserves an Oscar

The girl’s in the bed he starts snatching her clothes off

I’m in the closet like man, what the **** is going on?

You’re not going to believe it but things get deeper as the story goes on

Next thing you know a call comes through on my cell phone

I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate

But from the way he acted I could tell it was too late

He hopped up and said “there’s a mystery going on and I’m going to solve it”

And I’m like “God please don’t let this man open his closet”

He walks in the bathroom and looks behind the door

She says “baby come back to bed”

He says “say no more”

He pulls back the shower curtain while she’s biting her nails

Then he walks back to the room. Right now I’m sweating like hell

Checks under the bed (bed)

then under the dresser (dresser)

He looks at the closet (closet)

I pull out my berretta (berretta)

He walks up to the closet (closet)

He’s close up to the closet (closet)

Now he’s at the closet (closet)

Now he’s opening the closet (closet, closet, closet)

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yay free BP

Now he’s staring at me like

As if he was staring in the mirror

She yells honey let me explain

He says you don’t have to go no further

I can clearly see what’s going on

Behind my back, in my bed, in my home

Then I said wait a minute now hold on

I said Mister we can work this out

She said honey don’t lose control

Tried to get him to calm down

He says ho I should’ve known

That you would go and do some bogus **** up in my house

But the christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt

I said we need to resolve this

And he stepped to me

I’m like whoa

There’s a reason I’m in this closet

He says yeah what are you talking ?clothes?

I met this girl at the Pajis club

And she told me she didn’t have a man

Then he said man please I’d kill you

If you didn’t have that gun in your hand

And then I said but your chick chose me

He said don’t give me that mack **** please

His phone goes off and then

Things get a little more interesting

He steps a little closer

I point my gun and say I’m not the one you’re after

He says it’s not my bet you didn’t know my man

Did she tell you I was a pastor?

I said well good that’s better right

Why can’t we handle this Christian like

And I started to put the gun down

Til I saw his face still had a frown

She started crying saying baby I’m sorry

Then he said baby not as sorry as you’re gonna be

I started inching out

He says no I want you to see this

Said I gotta get out this house

He said not til I reveal my secret

I’m like what is going on inside his head

Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says

Hello?

(Hello?)

Baby?

(Yeah)

Turn the car around

(What’s going on? What’s wrong?)

I just need for you to get right back here now

CLICK

He looks at me and says

Well, since we’re all coming out the closet

I’m not about to be the only one broken hearted

She said what do you mean?

He said just wait and see

I said somebody better talk to me

And then his phone rings

He picks up

And somebody says sweetheart I’m downstairs

And he’s like I’ll buzz you up

I’m on the fifth floor hurry take the stairs

And I’m like who is this mystery lady that you’re talking to

He says in time you both will know the shocking truth

Baby this is something I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time

Then I said I’m gon shoot you both if you don’t say what’s on your mind

He says wait I hear somebody coming up the stairs

And I’m looking at the door

He says I think you better sit down in a chair

I said I’m going to count to four

One

He says mister wait

Two

She says please don’t shoot

Three

He says don’t shoot me

Four

She screams

Then a knock at the door

The gun’s in my hand

He opens the door

I can’t beleive it’s a man!