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Actress initially unsure why anyone would care when she turns 18

BRENTWOOD, CALIF. – MAY 18, 2008 – Dakota Fanning already has a lot of things most other 14-year-olds don’t, and she’s about to get another one: her own professional website. While there are numerous “fan sites” on the Internet, there’s no official Dakota presence.

Dakota and her family and web technologist extraordinaire Norman LaFey have already started mapping out the details. The Fannings hired LaFey, a graduate of Stanford University and MIT, because he is known as one of the top computer experts in North America.

“It’s going to be fun and happy and colorful and full of ideas and information – just like me,” Dakota said. “Plus we’re thinking about doing it all on WordPress to give it a unique look while saving a lot of money. You know, make it simple, because I’m really just a simple girl, at heart.”

5 . . . Joy makes a discovery!

Dakota was about to run through the plans for the website page by page, when her mother, Joy, came in from another room and said, “Honey, I think you better take a look at something.”

Dakota followed Joy into the den, where the family’s only computer was up and running. On the screen, a girly-girl-pink page bore the title “Your [sic] A Star!” and below that, a date – December 8, 2005 – and the heading “The Official Dakota Fanning Countdown Clock.” Then came a photo of 11-year-old Dakota in a You Oughta Be In Juicy T-shirt, and below that, the clock-ticker, which read “3 years, 280 days, 5 hours, 40 minutes, and 23 seconds left!”

“Left for what?” Dakota asked her mother.

“Left till you turn eighteen,” Joy said and used her mouse to move the screen around.

“So?” Dakota said. “Who cares how long till I turn eighteen?”

Joy looked behind her to make sure 10-year-old Elle wasn’t nearby and made Dakota sit down in front of the monitor. She navigated to the comments section, of which there were 98 pages.

4 . . . If NBC’s involved, it’s bad!

Comment from January of this year: “Ok looks like the pedifiles are out i only loged in to tell u folks that this is being forworded to NBC nightline in hiopes that it will be removed it is a sick site espeacilly when i am a father of two young girls u guys are sick and should be put in jail for life. hell most of you are probaly allready there i am so sick of this **** being on the net i ahve allready gotten sevarl sites off and now ill work on this one you sick bastards seek some professional help!!!!”

“Why’s he so mad because people want to know when I’m eighteen?” Dakota said.

“Because at eighteen, you can legally have sex,” Joy said.

“But I’m not going to just go out and . . .” Realization dawned. Dakota covered her mouth. “Oh, my God.”

Scanning, Joy found this from 2006: “And the worst part is: This was put on cyberspace a long time before Dakota was led to cheapen herself in that “Hounddog” movie. I can just imagine what other sites are liable to spring up now!”

“Oh, my God,” Dakota said.

“There are hundreds, maybe thousands of these maniacs,” Joy said and clicked over to page 1, which contained the countdown site’s first comments, beginning in December of 2005. “I want you to see some of this, because I want to reinforce what we’ve been telling you all along. That’s why we got Jock, and that’s why you don’t leave the property alone and why Phil and Marco – and Jock – go with us everywhere.”

Dakota silently read comments: “Ohhhhhh I wanna be in juicy, so badly. So soft and warm and blonde. It’s a party in my pants!” and

“First of all how old are you cause that is a good question did you know she got braces and at night she has to wear a hedgear if u search on www.google.com ellen show with dakota it shows her head gear anwayz I just wanted to tell ya,” and

“I do not agree with the time of your countdown. I am counting down to her 14th birthday, because that’s when I can legally sleep with that blonde vixen! LOVE YA DAKOTA!” and

“OH BOY I CAN’T WAIT!!!”

3 . . . Elle is just . . . there!

“So the whole world is–” Dakota began but was cut off by the voice of Elle, who was standing behind her and her mother.

“What are you doing?” Elle said.

“Elle Fanning, how many times have I told you not to appear right behind people like that!” Joy said.

“What’s a countdown clock?” Elle said.

“Nothing,” Joy said.

“Why don’t you guys ever tell me anything?”

Dakota said, “Why don’t you go see if Jock needs to get fed?”

“I know what it is,” Elle said. “It’s a thing to show how long till you can have sex.”

Joy spun around. “Do you want to spend the rest of the day in your room? Because I have a clock that’ll tell me exactly how long that is.”

“I spend most of my time in my room already,” Elle said.

“Well, don’t get smart. How do you know about countdown clocks?”

“Rene and Sandra on my soccer team said the Olsen Twins had one, and all kinds of guys were trying to get dates with them once they turned eighteen.”

“Elle, do I look like one of the Olsen Twins?” Dakota said. “Sorry, I don’t think so.” She turned back to the screen. “I can’t believe somebody would make a website like this. I know I’m cute and dress well and all that, but are you going to tell me that people were thinking of me in that way when I was eleven years old?”

“Men think in every way that’s humanly conceivable,” Joy said. “Age is no barrier when it comes to sickness.”

Dakota turned around, and Elle had disappeared. “God, I hate when she does that,” she said.

“We’re going to need to do a countdown clock for when Elle finally turns into ghost,” Joy said and clicked to another page of comments.

2 . . . The world is full of pervs!

They read: “What kind of perv is looking forward to when a child of only eleven is legal? People shouldn’t even be thinking such thoughts of an eleven-year-old,” and

“You guys are very sick. She is 11 years old you fricken perverts. All of you are ****ing sick bum morons. What the hell,” and

“this is the sickest website i have EVER seen – u guys are all pervs. Why the hell would u count down the day till an 11 year old child is legal???!!??? Is disgusting anyway wtf do u think shed even look at you?”

“‘Perv’ as in ‘pervert,’ I take it,” Dakota said. “Seven letters. I’m going to try to use it tonight in Scrabble to hopefully flush this sickness out of my reactive memory banks, which is where I’m sure it is by now.”

“It’s a sick and depraved world out there,” Joy said.

“So you think a lot of guys really like to look at me? I never thought that much about it.”

“You thought about it,” Joy said. “We had that talk.”

“I know, but that was right before Bees, and I got sidetracked and basically forgot about it.”

“The people who created this site are just sickos,” Joy said, “but I’m sure there are plenty of sickos out there that we don’t know about.” She faced Dakota and put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders. “Now the next time you want to have some little boyfriend to run around with, and me and your father want to meet him first and meet his family, you’ll understand, right?”

“I guess,” Dakota said. “But I was thinking – isn’t it possible a countdown clock could be good publicity? I mean it’s just one more place to get exposure, right?”

“Believe me, that’s not the kind of exposure we’re looking for.”

The phone rang. Dakota started for it, but Joy stopped her. “No, I’ll get it – it might be a perv. Hello?” She listened for about 20 seconds. “You’re sure it was Elle?” She looked out toward the kitchen. “No, obviously it was a mistake. Yes, cancel it. Thank you for calling.” She hung up and yelled, “Elle Fanning!”

“What’s going on?” Dakota said.

“Your sister just called Domino’s and ordered a pizza to be delivered in three years, two hundred and eight days, five hours, nineteen minutes, and fifty-two seconds!”

Elle appeared at the entrance to the living room. By her side was the Fannings’ German shepherd attack dog, Jock.

“Did you call for a pizza?” Joy asked Elle.

“Me and Jock did,” Elle said.

“No, Elle,” Dakota said. “Jock doesn’t use the phone. We told you that a million times.”

“Okay, I called,” Elle said. “I wanted to surprise Dakota when she turned eighteen.”

“Don’t make calls like that anymore,” Joy said. “We’ve already got enough surprises to last a lifetime.”

“Okay,” Elle said and led Jock back toward the kitchen.

“She’s getting weirder by the day, Mom,” Dakota said. “I think I need to start spending more time with her.”

“But first you need to spend time doing the interview about your website.”

“Right,” Dakota said and left the room.

1 !

When Dakota was gone, Joy pulled up Google and typed in “Elle Fanning countdown clock.” She clicked search. The results page appeared. Joy said, “Oh, my God.”

As of the time Joy spoke those words, Dakota would be 18 in three years, two hundred eighty days, four hours, fifty-two minutes, and seventeen seconds.

the guy who wrote this article is the real perv imo