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Parsley Magnet's Flamebate Posts
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postin' mammary glands ITTLog in to see images!
ZOMG BOOBIES (view post) |
02/15/2008 | |
sup flamebatelol guys i came
Log in to see images! (view post) |
02/14/2008 | |
sup flamebatethought I’d try my hand at this camwhoring business
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do you like?? (view post) |
02/14/2008 | |
ROCK HARD CAT male reproductive organEvil Trout Posted:
I do what I can. (view post) |
02/13/2008 | |
OMG GUYS DID YOU SEE THE **** THAT WENT DOWN ON SA TODAY?GODDAMN I DON’T EVEN KNOW THE KEYBOARD SHORTCUT FOR ANY SPECIAL CHARACTERS EXCEPT ยง (view post) |
02/12/2008 | |
IMVU HOLY ******** gave me spyware when I tried it. (view post) |
02/12/2008 | |
You know what?JOIN ME fabulous personS AND TOGETHER WE WILL MAKE THE ENTIRE FRONT PAGE OF THIS FORUM HAVE THE “GAY” TAG.
OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE. (view post) |
02/12/2008 | |
ROCK HARD CAT male reproductive organCalvin lay there in bed, next to his tiger. His fourteenth birthday was tomorrow. He was getting older, puberty striking at his mind, voice, and body. He kissed Hobbes on the cheek, puling him closer and thanking him for being his friend.
Then it happened. It had been happening often since he was thirteen and he had no control over it. His erection tented his boxers, pressing against his friend’s rump.
“Stop..” Hobbes mumbled with a growl, pushing him away.
Calvin turned onto his back, pulling his under shorts down and revealing his standing pillar, about five inches. Average, he figured.
He shook Hobbes awake. He didn’t wake easily and grumbled and growled, but eventually sat up. “What, Calvin?” He asked angrily, wanting very much to go back to sleep.
“I love you.”
“I love you too..” Hobbes said awkwardly. ‘What is this about?’ He wondered.
“Do you really love me?”
“Yeah, why?” Hobbes sat up further, sleep forgotten.
“I want to mate with you..” Calvin blushed.
“Wait! What?”
“I love you so much, I want to show you how much I love you, how much I appreciate how you’ve cared for me over the years, and been there for me. Now I want to be there for you.”
Hobbes looked perplexed, he stared at Calvin, and then at the corner of his eye, there he saw it, Calvin’s standing erection, dead toward his face. He knew instantly.
“Oh…”
There was a pause, for a moment they did nothing but lay there, Calvin staring hungerly toward Hobbes’ beautiful fuzzy face as he in turn looked directly at Calvin’s smooth young male reproductive organ. A feeling stirred inside of Hobbes that he’d never felt before, not even through all of the years they had been friends. He bit his lower lip.
“Calvin, I..”
“Please, just kiss me.”
“I-”
“Please, just once. If you don’t like it, I’ll never bring it up again. Just once, please, for me.”
Hobbes was silent, but then slowly replied.
“Okay. For you.”
Calvin’s hand reached up behind Hobbes’ whiskered, furry neck, and slowly drew their faces closer to each other. His lips parted softly and a soft moaning emanated from them, anticipating the taste of his friends wet tiger mouth to come.
Hobbes resisted, but that only made Calvin pull him in harder. Their lips met sideways, mouths open, their labored breaths mixing with each others.
Calvin pulled away slightly as they fully contacted with each other.
“Oh, Hobbes. Hobbes…”
A wave of sensation filled Hobbes’ entire body, every muscle quaked with a shock of pure pleasure, his body melted, his lips quivered as they moved wet and hot against his friends’. With each pbuming of their tongues, he became more ravenous. More hungry. More like a tiger. He suddenly pulled away, his claws extended, accidentally scratching Calvin across the cheek.
“Oh god, Calvin. I, ****.”
“Just let it come to you, old buddy.”
“****, I.. **** me.”
“What?”
“I said **** me. **** me now”
“Turn over.”
Hobbes immediately and excitedly turned over onto his stomach, his bum facing toward Calvin, the muscles of his tail causing it to lift high in the air, exposing the bright pink, smooth bumhole that poked through the fuzz of his tiger-cheeks. He moaned in soft anticipation. He was afraid Calvin’s mother might hear.
“**** ME. PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME WAIT.”
Hobbes was nearly crying, as Calvin’s hesitation was like a thousand stabs to his heart. He felt like his world was tearing apart, lest his old childhood friend ****ed him in the bum, right then and there.
“Sure thing, buddy.” Calvin grasped the base of his male reproductive organ, touching the top to the base of Hobbes’ bright pink bumhole.
From the depths of Hobbes’ throat came a mighty roar like that which had never been witnessed, as Calvin’s hard, 13 year old male reproductive organ slid roughly into the depths of his bum. Calvin’s hips began to jerk, he felt the warmth of his friend’s insides, he was ****ing Hobbes in the bum. He knew this, but he just couldn’t believe it. But he always came back to that warmth, and it shocked him back to the pleasure of his present reality.
“OH GOD” Hobbes roared out, his English words were barely intelligible through his native animal tongue. Calvin pumped faster, harder, deeper into his tiger’s bumhole, feeling the warm, wet suction as it pumped in and out. Hobbes’ bumhole began to bleed, and it only made Calvin hornier.
“Oh God, oh Jesus. I love you, Hobbes. I love you.”
“I love you too. Oh God I do.”
Calvin’s thrusting was so frantic, that neither had any room for words after so many minutes. They simply fell into the pleasure, into the depth of the feeling. Two friends, deeply rooted in fun and adventure, in the science of box transmogrify, time travel, Film Noir, it all came rushing to them. Calvin thought back on so many memories he’d had with this dear cherished friend, and came back to the moment at hand, and he realized that all of those beautiful moments finally had a focal point. He finally got what he wanted. He finally was making love to Hobbes. He continued to thrust, unthinking, until Hobbes turned, stared into his eyes.
“Remember the time your house was robbed while you were away on vacation? When I was in the house? Oh god, I was so scared. I thought I would never see you again. I wanted to tell you so many things. That night, god, I wanted you to make love to me. I thought I would never have you again. Please come. Come in me like I always wanted you to that night. COME IN ME”
Calvin’s male reproductive organ contracted in 5 spasms that shook the very depths of Hobbes’ small, tight bum. He filled Hobbes to his stomach with his loving great times. He filled his bum. And he filled both of their hearts.
“GOD I ****ING LOVE YOU. OH GOD.”
“I LOVE YOU TOO. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.”
They screamed to the heavens, these two, best friends, becoming one.
But they were cut short by a sudden noise.
Calvin’s mother came rushing into his room, her robe barely tied, her feet tripping up over themselves as she clumsily made her way to him in the dark. She flicked on the light.
There, she saw her son, completely naked, hands gripped tightly over the waist of a stuffed tiger, his male reproductive organ half way inside of a hole torn out of the stuffing of its backside. The stuffing from Hobbes’ insides littered the sheets and the lower part of Calvin’s body.
“Are you, oh my god.”
The next morning, Calvin’s mother told his father what had happened, after recovering from the shock, and Calvin’s father spent the day beating the **** out of him, Calvin was broken almost to the very edge of his life. And when it was over, and Calvin was able to recover and see out of one eye, he made Calvin watch him as he shoved his stuffed tiger, Hobbes, his best friend in the whole world, the love of his life, into a wood chipper. Calvin cried, but his dad just backhanded him and told him to go finish his homework.
The next day, Calvin’s parents scheduled him to permanently see a psychiatrist.
3 years later, Calvin shot himself in the face. (view post) |
02/12/2008 | |
Wipo is a ****ing retard.in b4 wipo (view post) |
02/11/2008 | |
ALL THE SPONSORS FOR THIS SITE ARE TWO fabulous personSHAVING SEX DISGUISED AS ONE PERSON (view post) |
02/10/2008 | |
please comment on my comic i worked very hard on itMacks Posted: |
02/10/2008 | |
please comment on my comic i worked very hard on itnanafabulous personjesus Posted: |
02/10/2008 | |
If you were an animal...Dolphins.
Dolphins are very intelligent, highly emotional and expressive creatures. They enjoy the company of humans, and if a relationship develops between a human and a dolphin, as has happened with me, they will, on occasion, wish to express their trust and affection for you in the most direct way; through mating, or sex-play. You see, dolphins do not use sex purely for procreative reasons. They use it as a way of strengthening the bonds between pod mates (mothers and calves included), and also for fun. Dolphins and humans share this common trait with very few other animals, so sometimes it makes me wonder when people continue to ask me “How DO you mate with a dolphin?”. Easy. Let the dolphin tell you!
Q1) How do I tell a male dolphin from a female one?
A1) Probably the most common question I get asked. There are 2 ways of determining the sex of a dolphin. The most obvious way is to take a peek under the peduncle (the long part of the body connected to the tail flukes). On the dolphin’s belly, directly opposite the dorsal fin, will be the umbilicus, or the navel of the dolphin. Looking further down towards the tail, you start to see the differences.
Male dolphins have two separate slits for the male reproductive organ (the urogenital opening) and the bum. These are separated by a bridge of skin. The male’s urogenital opening is generally located further up the belly, towards the navel.
Females, on the other fin, have one continuous larger slit, the bum located at the end of it. On either side of the genital slit, you will find two smaller slits; these are the mammary slits, where the nipples of the dolphin are kept for feeding the calves. The slit is also located closer to the tail stock of the dolphin.
The other way to determine the sex of a dolphin, if you can’t reach their belly, is to look at their mellon, or head. The males tend to have a fatter, rounder mellon, while the females are more sleek and streamlined.
Q2) How do I know if a dolphin wants to have sex?
A2) There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex.
Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile male reproductive organ. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active.
Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?
A3) Accept, if possible! I will go through the steps involved with males and females…
The Male:
When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species… it seems women just don’t like dolphins enough… so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.) WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward….
A male dolphin’s member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the male reproductive organ to be gently mbumaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it’s length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn’t take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.
The Female:
Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don’t be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the woman's genitalsl muscles, and sometimes vocalisation.
Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular woman's genitalsl contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.
One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn’t just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins? Can I give them any?
A4) I have had no experiences with Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) with dolphins, so I couldn’t rightfully say. I do know, however, that you can pbum the Flu between you, along with other respiratory problems. (I got a cold when a dolphin sneezed on me once. It cleared up after a week or so.) You can also pbum some skin irritations on to them, if you handle them with chaffed or broken skin. Just like with a human, it is best to BE CLEAN when you handle a dolphin. If you have cuts on your hands, avoid touching them unless you wash with a Betadine surgical scrub prior to handling. This is available from most Veterinary and Surgical suppliers. If you have some disease of some sort, avoid mating, for the dolphins sake. This is a little known area, more so because Zoophilia is considered illegal in many places (which I think is a load of crud, but the law’s the law….)
Q5) Is their any way I can invite a dolphin to be masturbated?
A5) Well, yes. If they are hanging around, but not looking particularly excited, but you are, you can invite them with this way…
Male and Female dolphins can be invited by rolling them on their sides, again, but instead of going straight to the genital slit, rub along their bellies, between their pectoral fins, along the navel, and every once in a while, over the genital slit. If they are responsive, they will show the signs of excitement as described earlier, and you can proceed as usual. If, however, they are not responsive, they will swim away, or turn back upright. DO NOT force the issue with a dolphin! Trying to restrain them will only break their trust in you, and could cause you serious injury. Pat them, stroke them and talk to them lovingly, but do not try anything else. It is best, anyway, to let the dolphin tell you when they are ready. It is far more pleasant, and more fulfilling anyway. And more special.
Q6) Where can I find a dolphin to mate with?
A6) Aquariums are a bad choice, for many reasons. Too public, the dolphins are not in their natural habitat, night visits are impossible, etc etc… some may have external enclosures, which may be accesable, but that is no guarantee. Best thing sometimes is to find a beach or a cove that the dolphins frequent. It takes time to develop a relationship with a dolphin to the point where they will let you mate with them (although some have been as quick as 3 days to acclimatize). Gaining their trust takes time, and you need to visit frequently. This is impossible for some people, I understand, but it is the best way. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbour of my resident city.
Well, I hope this is of use to whoever is interested. One final note. You should love a dolphin, not because of the sexual relief they can provide, but because they are a unique animal, one of the few wild animals that seek the company of man by their own initiative. This is special. Do not abuse it.
About the Author
I first realized I was a Delphinic Zoophile when I was 12 years old, which is when I had my first sexual encounter with a dolphin. This is not that particular occasion, since my first lover was brutally killed in an act of sensless violence that I will never forgive, or forget. She continues to live in my memories, though…
I volunteer with dolphins whenever I get the opportunity. They are special to me, highly intelligent, empathic creatures that are dear to my heart, and are a healing aspect in my life. So it was that I met this particular dolphin, a female bottle nose dolphin, 7 years old, who is residing at my home cities coastal harbour/aquarium.
She is a beautiful dolphin, inquisitive and playful, and more used to human contact than her other, older pod mates. I answer any questions the general public have about dolphins, and spend most of my free time with them, studying and talking with them. I learned through continued contact that each dolphin has a very particular personality and habits, traits useful for differentiating between the fins who are sometimes hard to distinguish on visual markings alone.
In order to avoid the bustle tourists, I usually visit the dolphins at night, illegally I must add, since I am considered to be trespbuming. But it is the only time I do not have to be distracted by tourists or the staff. I do not expect to have sex with the dolphins every time I visit them; I am not that sort of person. I spend time with them because they are a relaxing and stabilizing source of peace in an otherwise hectic and unbalanced lifestyle. So it came as a pleasant surprise when this 7-year-old dolphin began to engage in sex-play with me.
I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular woman's genitalsl orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!
So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.
I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her woman's genitalsl muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn’t engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn’t do for a dolphin.
I am aware there are people who would look at this and turn away in disgust. I can not force my beliefs or my feelings upon them, neither do I wish to. The only thing I ask of those people is that they try to understand that love, and trust, and respect are not limited to within a single species. Human kind has created religions and laws and barbed-wire fences that have been created, written and erected out of the former belief that we are the best, the smartest, the most powerful creature on the planet. Now we are realising that we have been extremely short sighted; many of us are realising this, but there are others who are bound by their former beliefs. One word is the key to improving our civilization. One word which could improve many lives.
Understanding. My life is now dedicated to understanding dolphin kind. The way they act, the way they communicate, the reasons why a completely wild animal would take any interest what so ever in humans, a very dangerous wild animal. These may be answers that I may not answer in my lifetime, but this is a path that has been layed by a special dolphin who taught me more about love and trust in one week than any human taught me in my entire life. A path that I hope others will choose to also tread with me, towards a pool of knowlegde where dolphins and humans can interact with one another, and learn a great many secrets.
With a dolphin in my dreams, I go forth to love those who have loved me. Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn. August 15th, 1996. (view post) |
02/10/2008 | |
please comment on my comic i worked very hard on itLog in to see images!
Here’s another. (view post) |
02/10/2008 | |
PS3 SUCKS LAWLWHY DON’T YOU KIDS LIKE THE PSTRIPPLE (view post) |
02/10/2008 | |
please comment on my comic i worked very hard on itLog in to see images!
Hay, I just made one too, what do ya think? (view post) |
02/10/2008 | |
The first 10 people to post ITT get free brownie pointsMODS = fabulous personS (view post) |
02/09/2008 | |
fyif Posted:
no u (view post) |
02/09/2008 | |
MIDDLE POST IN THIS THREAD WINS FLEZZrules 1 & 2 fabulous persons (view post) |
02/09/2008 |