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Kim Shady

Log in to see images! In the last cutscene of episode one, he says in Korean, 어이, 어리석은 백인! 나는 너에게 말한다!" which can be roughly translated as, "Hey, stupid white man! I tell you!"

Kim Shady is most likely a pun on "Slim Shady". Kim rhymes with Slim, making this screen name apt for the game. "Slim Shady" is an alternate stage name by the Rapper "Eminem"

Function on Episode 2

WARNING! THE BELOW TEXT IS HIGHLY SPOILERIFIC! DO NOT READ ON IF YOU DON'T WANT ELEMENTS OF EPISODE TWO SPOILED!

































































In Episode 2, KIM_SHADY approaches you to pwn The Pentagon itself, apparently convinced that that is how the Internet works. This starts the mission Pwntagon! that takes up the majority of the time in Episode 2.

Dialogue

  • (X) marks leaving dialogue
  • Numbers mark choices

First encounter

Kim: 어이, 어리석은 백인! 나는 너에게 말한다!

You: Repeat that?

Kim: 너가 나에 의하여 연설할 때 너는 나를, 미련한 미국 돼지 응답한다!

You: Yeah, listen, I don’t understand Chinese and ****.

Kim: IS KOWEAN!!!

You: Well, that’s fantastic. And what the **** did you say?

Kim: I SAY STUPID WHITE MAN WILL LISTEN WHEN I LECTUWING!!!
Kim: STUPID STUPID WHITE MAN!!!!

You: How do you know I’m not a female Korean neurosurgeon?

Kim: 미친년아!!! ACTING LIKE VULVA!! IT HAVE NO FATHER!

You: You’re quite the charmer. What do you want?

Kim: DOES NOT MATTER WHAT WANTING!!! IS IMPORTANTLY ONLY WHAT I SAY, FOR IS WHAT YOU SHALL DO IT!!!

You: Oh, is that how it is?
(X)I don’t need to take this abuse. I’m outta here.

(0)Kim: 그렇다, 너는 제국주의자 따른다!

You: (1)What are you asking me to do?
(2)Who the hell are you?
(3)What’s with the ALLCAPS?
(4)Your English is fantastic, did you know that?
(5)그렇다, 너는 제국주의자 따른다 back at ya!

(1):

Kim: I SAW THINGS DONE BY YOU IN NUCWEAR EXPWOSION! VEWY IMPWESSIVE FOR NON-KOWEAN DOG WHO OPPOSE SOCIALISM!
Kim: NOW FOR NORTH KOWEAN GLOWWY, YOU WILL CAWWY OUT SIMILAR TASK AGAINST AMEWICAN MILITAWY TARGET!!!

You: I don’t like where this is going…

Kim: BECOME SILENT!
Kim: IT IS CWEAR, THE FOWUM OF THE AMEWICAN FIVE WECTANGULARITIES MUST BE DESTWOYED, COMPLETELY!!!

You: Five rectangularities…? ****, you don’t mean the Pentagon?!

Kim: IT DESTWOYS IT!!! AND IT WECEIVES THE ONLY COMPENSATING METHOD WHICH YOUR PERSONS UNDERSTANDS: BIG MONETAWY INCENTIVE!!!

You: But the Pentagon?! That would be suicide!

Kim: TWULY, IT IS!!!

You: (6)I’ll do it.
(7)No chance in hell.
(0)Let’s back up for a sec here…

(2):

Kim: IT IS KIM JONG-IL!!!
Kim: DESIGN OF NATIONAL DEFENSE TASK!! SUPWEME COMMANDER OF KOWEAN PEOPLE ARMY!! AND LABOR PARTY OF KOWEA SEWIES FLAG!!

You: Wait…you mean the Kim Jong-il?!

Kim: KIM THE WEALNESS WHICH GETS SHADED!!!

You: Didn’t you die of a heart attack or something?

Kim: AHAHAHA!!!! 당신은 밖으로 안되게 대형 마티니 안경의 수천 마리의 정액을 마셔! 당신이 이것을 번역을했는데 믿을 수 없어! WAS JUST DISTWACTION TO CONFUSE WHITE STUPIDS!! KIM JONG-IL IS IMMOWTAL!!! ALSO DOES NOT PEE OR POOP UNLIKE AVEWAGE PERSON!!!!

You: Seriously?! So you faked your death as part of a master plan to launch an attack on America?

Kim: NO MORE QUESTION, AWWOGANT WEACTIONAWY!

You: (0)Actually, I need to ask you something else…

(3):

Kim: AHAHAHAHA!!!
Kim: IMPEWIALIST LACKEY!!! HOW JOYFUL IT IS TO BE AN OGRE!!!

You: A troll? You mean you’re trolling me right now?

Kim: AHAHAHA!!! THE PWEVIOUS NIGHT, I HAVE SEXUAL NATIONAL bumEMBLY WITH YOU FAT MOTHER!!!

You: (0)Sigh.

(4):

Kim: I LEARN HIDEOUS AMEWICAN LANGUAGE SEEING MOTION PICTURE FWOM DECADENT STATE OF CALIFOWNIA!

You: But where do you get these movies from?

Kim: I HAVE ACCOUNTS IN STORE WHO DESTWOYS BLOCKS!
Kim: STORE IS SUPPLIED EXCESSIVELY!! TOO MANY CHOICE!! I bumUREDLY NEVER WEWINDING CbumETTE!!

You: Well…that’s the behavior you’d expect from a mad dictator, I guess.

Kim: I HAVE MANY ACCOUNT, HAHAHA!!! PbumWORD IS “MOTION PICTURE”!!!

You: (0)That’s great. But I have to ask…

(5):

Kim: 나와 성교하지 말라!!!
Kim: INFUWIATING DOG! DOES NOT BE HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH ME!!!

You: Heh, sowwy. But listen:

(7):

Kim: AHAHAHA!
Kim: IT PWETENDS AS IF IT IS A SELECTION!!!
Kim: ECHO WILL NOT GIVE BACK THE SELECTION WHICH IS DO MOST!! YOU IS THE LOSER TO MEET AGAIN!!! HAHAHA!!!

You: (X)Uhhh…yes.

If you decline his mission and then talk again

Kim: 미국!!! STUPID WHITE MAN!!!

You: I’ll have you know I’m a handi-capable black woman. And this isn’t the kind of equal opportunity employment I was looking for.

Kim: YOU TAKEE MISSION NOW!!!

You: I can’t commit an act of terror against a military target! I just can’t!

Kim: NO TEWWOR-EE, NO PAY-EE!!!

You: Believe it or not, there are more important things than money. Why do you want to destroy the Pentagon, anyway?

Kim: KIM JONG-IL SPWEAD OUT COMMUNISM LIKE HE SPWEAD OUT YOU MOTHER woman's genitalsL MOUTH LAST NIGHT!!!
Kim: YOU MISSION TAKE!!!!!!!!!!

You: You make a seductive argument. I’ll ****in’ do it.
(X)NEVAR!!!

Kim: 우수한!!! TO ME THIS IS MOST SATISFACTOWY!
Kim: YOU WILL BE SPARED FWOM DEATH, CAPITALIST WUNNING DOG LACKEY!!!
Kim: NOW GO!! DESTWOY!! ME IT MEANS THE HOUR WILL WASTE AND IT IS NOT!!!

You: Strong words. I’m on it.


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