i was standing by this cooler at that party and this dude walks up and grabs a can and starts shaking it and im like wtf, so i go over to another dude and im like dude wtf this guy just walks up and grabs a can and starts shaking it like this and im miming the action of shaking a can and hes like WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU WHO? and im like THAT GUY and i point and he goes OH THAT GUY WAS JERKING OFF A GHOST? and im like WHY WOULD YOU THINK HE WAS JERKING OFF A GHOST and hes like CUZ HE WAS DOING THIS and he starts miming jerking off a ghost which looks kind of the same as shaking a can and im like NO WHAT THE **** MAN HE WAS SHAKING A CAN and hes like OH YEA I THOUGHT HE WAS JERKING OFF ABE LINCOLNS GHOST and im like WHY ABE LINCOLN and hes like HE HAUNTS THIS PLACE andim like HOW ****ING FAT DO YOU THINK HIS male reproductive organ IS ITS PROBABLY NOT AS FAT AS A CAN ITS PROBABLY MORE LIKE AN ITALIAN SAUSAGE AND LESS LIKE A CAN and hes like GOOD POINT and im like WHY WOULD HE SHAKE A CAN BEFORE HE DRINKS IT and hes like MAYBE HE DOESNT LIKE THE FIZZ and im like WHAT? and hes like MAYBE HE DOESN’T LIKE CARBONATION and im like I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.

I LIKE THE CARBON.