mterek Posted:

”woman's genitalsicles”

“puissant”.

woman's genitalsicles was a poor farmer in the valley of Crotching. One year, just before harvest, a gigantic sand storm came through the valley and destroyed all but three kernels of corn from his crop. Distraught, woman's genitalsicles went to the temple of Phallus and brought with him the three kernels. He placed them in front of the great statue of Phallus and said, “Oh Phallus, you who are more puissant and majestic than any other god, please help me, or else my family will starve.”

Phallus was moved by this offering and appeared to woman's genitalsicles, saying, “since you have sacrificed the last of your food as an offering to me, I will save your family. When you return to your farm, every grain of sand left in your field will have turned into a kernel of corn.” woman's genitalsicles was elated and thanked Phallus. Phallus responded, saying that for the next three years, woman's genitalsicles must bring half his crop to Phallus’ temple or suffer dire consequences. woman's genitalsicles immediately agreed and rushed to return to his farm where his jubilant family was waiting.

The next year, woman's genitalsicles’ harvest was bountiful and he immediately took half his crop to the temple and laid it at the statue of Phallus. Phallus was pleased, but grew greedy. He said, “next year, you must bring me 75% of your crop or you will suffer dire consequences.” woman's genitalsicles was afraid, but knew there was nothing he could do, for Phallus was a god and he was not. His crop was not so good the next year, but he brought 75% of it anyway. Phallus was displeased to receive a lesser payment than the year before, and told woman's genitalsicles that next year, he must bring 85% of his crop to make up for it. woman's genitalsicles worried, knowing that if his crop did poorly again, he would have little chance of survival. woman's genitalsicles returned home and confessed the worsening situation to his wife, who told him, “Stupid husband, did you not know that Phallus is untrustworthy? I will fix this.”

And so woman's genitalsicles’ wife went to the temple of woman's genitalsta, who was Phallus’ enemy in the Pantheon. She prayed to woman's genitalsta, who took pity on her and, seeing an opportunity to damage Phallus, told her that on the day of payment, she must dress up as her husband and instead of bringing crops, deliver large baskets filled with sand. However, she must say nothing the entire time she is in Phallus’ temple or the spell will be broken and Phallus will quickly take revenge.

woman's genitalsicles’ wife did exactly as she was told on the morning of her husband’s payment and brought many large baskets filled with sand to the temple. Just as she was about to leave, Phallus appeared to her and said, “woman's genitalsicles, you have managed to bring me even more food than last year. I am pleased. How did you do this?” And woman's genitalsicles’ wife stood silently, remembering her instructions. “woman's genitalsicles, do you mock me?” asked Phallus. His voice boomed so loudly that the pillars of his temple began to shake. woman's genitalsicles’ wife shook her head and bowed to Phallus, then quickly ran out of the temple. As soon as she exited the temple, woman's genitalsta’s spell was broken and Phallus saw he had been tricked. His temple shook and the walls cracked from his anger.

This is why, to this day, the constellation Phallus chases woman's genitalsta in the sky, and why the small constellation woman's genitalsicles points out from woman's genitalsta toward Phallus as an irritant should he get too close.