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Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

Ugh.

...

Where am I?

...

Why is everything black?

...

What happened?

Did I…I…

Did I die?

...

But if I’m dead, how can I be thinking that?

Or that?

...

Am I in…Heaven?

Not quite.

Who…who said that?

I am the Watchmaster of the Isle of Avalon.

Isle of Avalon? What on earth is that?

Nothing on earth. Your corporeal form is, as you would say dead.

I’m dead? Then why am I here? Shouldn’t I be getting judged, or something?

You have already been judged. That is why you are here.

I…I don’t understand

It is not surprising. Death has a peculiar effect on mortal minds. You are on the Isle of Avalon, the midpoint between the two places you would refer to as ‘Heaven’ and ‘Hell’

So…I’m in Limbo?

That is one way of putting it. You will remain here until an important matter is decided.

An important matter?

Very important. No less than the fate of your soul.

My…my soul? But I thought you said I had already been judged?

Yes. Your were judged according to the wisdom of the Almighty. Your soul was weighed and examined. Your every sin was catalogued, every good thought and deed noted.

And?

Both columns were added up, taking into account every single facet of your life. And both sided balanced. Perfectly.

...Balanced?

It is a very rare occurrence, but your good and bad balanced out. Therefore, both Heaven and Hell are open to you.

Wait, I get the choice? There must be a catch.

There is a task you must perform to enter the Pearly Gates.

Okay, I guess I can give it a try.

You must do more than try. What I am about to give you will change the course of humanity. It is the secret that will unite all people in love of the Lord.

Wait, you want me to be some sort of Jesus or Muhammad?

They were but men, just like you. Their columns balanced, and they were offered the same chance you have now.

...

...

O..okay.

I’ll do it.

Very well mortal. You will be restored to an earthly body. However, you only have one chance. Fail, and you will be cast into the fires of the deep, to languish in pain for all eternity.

This is the message you must carry:

...

...

...

...

I…I…I can’t believe it’s so simple…how did we not notice?

You understand?

Yes…it’s beautiful…

Then go. Go towards the light and save your people!

I’m rising.

Gotta head towards the light. The light will save my people.

I will carry His message to the world!

No more suffering! No more death!

I will finally make something of my life!

Just head towards the li…

*SQUISH*

Faye kept on pedalling, barely registering the collision. “It was just a worm” she thought, “not like it was going to change the world or anything.” As her fast receding bicycle disappeared into the sunset, a barely audible scream of absolute soul-crushing pain and anguish could be heard, blowing on the breeze…

Sarcasm Inc edited this message on 04/24/2010 7:30AM
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