swine Posted:

To bastardize a Churchhill quote – Capitalism is the worst… besides all the others that have been tried.

My linage goes back a long ways. I was raised the son of an independent oil tycoon, my father died (as luck would have it) on my eighteenth birthday. Ski accident. Tragic. My mother divorced him before I was ten, taking a large sum in the divorce settlement. However, after taking over my fathers business, I decided it was not the life I wanted (read: Hedonistic.) Running a company is seriously intensive work. My pointing finger was not up for the task. So, I sold it to his professional rival.

Now, I spend my “business hours” day-trading on occasion, and being a general venture capitalist. (I’ll one day own this piddly game, soon as I can convince ET to start selling stocks).

Why do I adore capitalist America? To answer that, I need only relate this bit of information — After this post I plan on having my chef prepare a large tray of sushi and lounging by my pool while one of these high school girls mbumages my back. Once the food arrives, I’ll be eating it off the nude body of the lovely Miss [state removed for personal information] while my private band plays covers of Billboard 100 songs. Au Revoir.

Wow. I admire you for your really true words. Swine, you are the MAN (or whatever you are)!