Sarcasm Inc Posted:

Because I’m launching this strike, I’ve made the following choices:

1) Mr. Franklin: African black male, age 37, who went to law school, graduating successfully. Is a former Muslim converted to Christian Baptist, and practices his faith regularly. Is an avid smoker, who smokes 20 cigs a day. Is married, with one child. Won’t be happy with my nuclear fireball. Might use it to light a cigarette, though.

2) Mrs. Franklin: Swedish white female, age 35, who is a part-time secretary for a large company. Quiet, keeps to herself. Non-practicing Christian Baptist. Is married, has one child.

3)Floyd Franklin: mixed child, age 12, mentally handicapped with a severely debilitating learning disability. Likes puppies, chocolate, and the military. You are unaware if the child’s mental disorder is genetic from family or from birth complications. Son of the Franklins. – Kept to keep Mrs Franklin happy.

4) James Vitrono: Italian white male, age 33, a used-car salesman. Outstanding cook; good with kids. Divorced twice, never graduated college. Roman Catholic. As an Italian and Catholic, he would be a liability if the truth came out.

5)Hermann Huntington: white male, age 45, an Englishman and aristocratic-looking doctor who is unmarried. PhD in field; unable to reproduce due to sterility. Cold personality, religion unknown. – Kept for knowledge, unlikely to turn against me if it’s discovered I started the war.

6) Vanessa Rodriguez: Dominican female, age 21. Ex-child prostitute who now helps women get off the street. Devoted Roman Catholic. Friendly, but slightly overweight. – Moderator, useful for counselling and mediation.

7) Rick Washington: black male, age 59, civil rights social worker. Non-militant, outgoing and friendly; little experience working with other races due to self-chosen living environment. Practices Islam. Wife is deceased. No use for a social worker. Maybe he can help some radioactive mutants get their lives on track.

8) Mbumaga Linn: Japanese male, age 23, organic food store clerk. Member of green party; above average experience with gardening. Political anarchist and an atheist. Unmarried. Green isn’t likely to be a colour the Earth will be seeing for a while.

9) Adam Li: Chinese male, age 30, engaged. Quiet personality, is a cook for local oriental restaurant, studying culinary arts. Practices Buddhism faithfully. – Good cook, Buddhist’s aren’t violent, so unlikely to be a problem if the truth comes out.

10) Susan Cho: Chinese female, age 28, engaged to Adam Li. Slightly snobbish; comes from money. Practices Taoism half-heartedly; is good with children. – Kept for Adam.

11) Amy Youngston: English female, age 17, gothic personality. Raised Roman Catholic, converted to Atheism. Wants to be a clothing designer. Once vogue got hit with a Minuteman III, she ceased to be of use.

12) Kevin McGall: Irish male, age 46, fanatical white supremacist and military veteran. Sharp, regal, overbearing personality. Decorated for bravery multiple times; religion unkown. Might be useful if I could convince him that I nuked the world to ‘start a new, white world’. But the fact that I’m keeping ‘other races’ would belie that.

13) Gi’hands Mahtmah: Iranian male, age 30, self-defense instructor. Practices Islam with devotion. Heart trouble in medical background, occasional water pipe smoker. Medical problems = no. Also likely not to appreciate Tehran being turned into a radioactive pit.

14) Juli Mohammed: Saudi female, age 16. American patriot; vegetarian. Practices Islam half-heartedly. Too young and immature.

15) Chelsea Masterson: Serbian female, age 19, prostitute. Drug history in past, along with arrest records. Atheist, no political affiliation. Not needed

16) Bishop Wesslex: German male, age 54, local Diocese Roman Catholic bishop. Powerful and persuasive public speaker; avid studier and lecturer on the Crusades. Vows of chastity and poverty. Hearty constitution and health. I don’t need to be preached at.

17) Michelle Famtishidd: Indian female, age 25, practicing nurse. Weak immune system, focuses or working out and good looks. Devoted Hindu, single. – Nurses are needed.

18) Mike Preston: French white male, age 39, technology fiend. Loves books and artwork; outstanding computer programmer and gifted intelligence. Left-wing politics and agnostic. Single. – Useful for technology skills.

That’s interesting; I believe you are the first person to choose the child to survive.

Also it’s interesting that you’re looking it from the perspective that it’s just to keep his mother happy.