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Avatar: 150029 2009-09-15 13:35:36 -0400


Level 35 Hacker

Verbose and long-winded as always

CrinkzPipe Posted:

A few minutes has turned into a long time.

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Sorry if I was late, boy…

Grown-ups have things to do during the day.

Having said that though…

I love you Crinkz. Really. I do.

Because you are a reminder of no matter how bad things ever get… your very EXISTENCE is testament to a level of failure that normal people could never POSSIBLY sink to!

Were I to go into the movie theaters after the film was done and sweep the floors of all the spilled coke, popcorn, empty wrappers and bubble-gum…

Then mix it in with the leftover organic parts from a PIG ABORTION…

And then leave the vile connoction to ferment across the day in the boiling heat of the sun…

I would STILL wind up with something more useful and with more dignity than YOU!

You are not Epic Failure… You are not a Basement Dweller… No, those are just MEMES— metaphors, really.

No, you are in every sense something of far more plainness, and far less importance.

Crinkzpipe you are a LOSER.

Everything about you reeks of the stuff in society that is overlooked when it is here, and instantly forgotten when it is gone.

And what’s worse… It never had to be this way.

You were born in the most prosperous country the world has ever known. You could have become anything and were afforded opportunites that billions could only dream of.

But you never seized those opportunies. You SQUANDERED them.

Look at you. Look at yourself.

No job. Few friends. You lack of the companionship of a woman.

You live off your parents who begrudgingly tolerate you from the knowledge you wouldn’t last 10mintues on the outside.

You are neither athletic nor intelligent.

Your daily routine consists of doing raids in Diablo — a game which was released when Bill Clinton was president — and achieving MICROSECONDS of sexual-gratification by violating yourself before websites that you are barely old enough to log onto, and which you could never afford since you would never be approved for a credit card.

You probably never even finished school. And if you did… it was only after you were expelled from the public schools. Not because you were guilty of anything per se, but because you were the chronic victim of all the strong and smart kids and the administration did the logical thing of kicking you out — the victim — as a way to do you and themselves a favor.

And even at home… while studying for your G.E.D… your mother would give you the minimal pbuming grades possible simply because she could not stand the shame of knowing that you would be Failed under even her tutelage.

And it will even get worse from here. Your daily visits to ForumWarz are a method by which you numb the pain and escape the pathetic gloom of your so-called life. But every minute you spend at your keyboard… is another minute by which your already terribly neglected body begins to atrophy.

You’ll be lucky to have your hair still by 25.

And you might already need to begin seriously considering acquiring a mobility scooter to get around.

You have little reason to wake up in the morning, and even less reason to go to sleep at any sensible hour.

But what’s truly, TRULY abhorrent and pathetic…

As I said before… it didn’t have to be this way.

Another contestant in this contest remarked that I enjoyed sucking quangntenemy’s male reproductive organ. While my inclination is to simply remark **** YOU to the miserable creature who said that… it is nevertheless true that i DO respect Quan immensely.

After years of study and discipline… he’s become a successful systems analyst for a banking firm. But… here’s the thing. He didn’t have your opportunities, CrinkzPipe.

Because it wasn’t in the United States where he achieved success… it was IN VIETNAM.

All the advantages of being an American… and you can scarcely keep yourself groomed or clothes from covering the floor of your room? You could have been a success.

But it’s too late now. You won’t. You can’t. You’ve wasted your best years needlessly and have imprisoned yourself forever in a grey arena of unimportance and sloth.

Do yourself and others a favor.

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Perhaps your demise — if even noticed — might serve as a warning to others to make something of themselves.

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