If a woman has many girl on girl make out experiences but then marries a man and has children and leads a happy life for the rest of time… is she bisexual or a heterosexual that had lesbian experiences?

If a man has one gay sex experience and later marries and has kids and also has a happy successful marriage; is he bisexual or a heterosexual that had a homosexual experience?

If someone only wants to be with someone of the opposite sex IRL but constantly fantasizes about someone of the same sex, but doesn’t consider themselves bisexual as it is just that particular fantasy… are they bisexual?

And again, if homosexual is describing a conduct that is easy to label, what about people that ‘identify’ as homosexual but have never ever even kissed someone of the same sex? Are they homosexuals or just homosexuals in thought? What is a homosexual if it is not just the conduct? If it is an identity, then obviously social construction plays a role.

Either way I just illustrated quite easily many ways in which lines are blurred all the time. You could say homosexual means someone who thinks a certain way about someone of the opposite sex – in which case there is no conduct to focus on. Or you could say it is just the conduct, but conduct doesn’t always reflect identity.

“The point of critiquing gay identity was not to disqualify it, or to do away with sexual labels altogether, or to advocate some avant-garde suspension of all sexual meaning and all sexual categories. Rather, the point of critiquing gay identity was to open the way to the formation new multiplicities of gay identities which the insistence on a singular, already established and defined gay identity served to impede.”

^^^^ what I am getting at but too abstract to properly discuss on a forum via typing