Lucinda Sherwood Posted:

Dear Mr. des Sots,

You apparently find this desecration of the world’s greatest writer amusing, but I bumure you that it is not. I worked as a school librarian for thirty years, and one of my paramount joys was that of introducing budding young minds to the beauties of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets. In one fell swoop, you have befouled one of the finest, if not the finest, soliloquies ever written.

You cannot be as stupid as your poor grammar suggests, or you would not be able to read Hamlet. Therefore I must bumume that you have at least a college education, and a profound envy of Shakespeare’s talent.

In sum, you are a failed writer.

Instead of bemoaning the fact that God, in His infinite wisdom, chose not to give you any talent, you might consider turning your intellect toward something useful. What that might be in your case, I have no idea. Perhaps a career in the service industry.

Regardless of what you intend to do with the rest of your life, please desist from your efforts to violate one of the world’s greatest treasures.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

iii memsssss lllucienda. _(