dobnits Posted:

MercWithMouth wakes up in an empty warehouse room, without pants on and chained to a chair with no seat. There is a large metallic dildo in front of him.

*Insert generic saw victim dialogue until the TV turns on*

*please read in the most Jigsaw voice possible for the maximum effect*

Hello MercWithMouth. I’d like to play a game.

Throughout what one may call your “internet career,” you have been the source of what many may call “bumhurt.” But now, in order to survive until another day, you must be one o truly understand “bumhurt.”

Inside your colon, lies the key to your survival. In front of you, the very instrument that will begin your salvation. The dildo in front of you has been eqipped with a powerful magnet. In order to survive, you must put the dildo verry far up your bum. Your rectum will be stretched farther than goatses in the process.

But if you fail to unlock yourself from your situation, you most certainly will risk *sinister chuckle* the banhammer. *Look up to show several thousand pounds of various barbells directly above the victim* Both literaly and figuratively.

Hopefully you will understand the pain and suffering bestowed upon your internet brethren.

Live or Die, MercWithMouth. Let the game begin

...Also, male reproductive organs.

*TV goes to static*

Ill let you decide how it ends, get your creative juices flowing Log in to see images!

wow. that was p well written.