Dear Evil Trout,

as I have recently noticed, you are interested in further improving main page of http://www.forumwarz.com to attract many new potential players. I would like to contribute to your improvement efforts by making following suggestion: The so-called “statements” at the top of the page (example: “Best. Game. Ever.” — Scott Jennings, Broken Toys) don’t seem to come from actual players. Their authenticity is questionable and some people might get scared off.

So here are some alternative statements about Forumwarz coming from experienced and well-respected players. I think you should consider to replace your current statements with these ones.

the Pro Posted:

I’m glad I got the 1337 E-Peen so I don’t have to play this ****ty game every day.

Fran Posted:

What’s a good game? Certainly not Forumwarz.

ANGRY HOBO Posted:

Forumwarz, a big joke. It will make you wish there was no internet since the game is very bad and people should* play it because it sucks.

*shouldn’t

Natalie Petrov Posted:

Do you know, I really never realized how much I don’t like people in general until recently? I thank Forumwarz for making me more aware of this.

Auser Posted:

Seriously you are all idiots for playing this game.

TUBSWEETIE Posted:

Forumwarz: pretty much ‘meh’

Physics Posted:

Forumwarz is **** and Evil Trout is a fabulous person-humping male reproductive organ-bishop.

Feel free to add some more real player quotes!