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Acid Flux

Avatar: 6767 Tue Mar 17 11:41:54 -0400 2009

[Country Kitchen an-
d Flea Market

Level 35 Troll


Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hello
Stranger: yo
You: that too
Stranger: you a dude?
You: not last time i checked
Stranger: oh
Stranger: well if your sure
Stranger: whats up
You: would you like me to check again lol?
Stranger: yes
You: lol k
You: nope still not a dude!
Stranger: and describe in great detail
You: lol
You: you first
You: ;P
Stranger: so what are you doing in all your 'not-dude' ness
You: just haning out
You: *hanging
Stranger: cool
Stranger: so I go first
You: my friend sent me this linkand said ti was cool
You: k
You: how do we do this?
Stranger: okay its round
Stranger: kinda flesh colored
You: what?
You: oh.
Stranger: uh... thats pretty much it
You: k
Stranger: your turn
Stranger: lol
You: no thats ok
You: im like 14
Stranger: if your sure.
Stranger: Oh damn
Stranger: uh... stay in school
Stranger: and uh
You: Actually..
Stranger: say no to drugs
Stranger: yes?
You: My name is Chris Hansen... Why don't you have a seat over here?
Stranger: okay?
You: Go on, have a seat.
Stranger: where you at?
You: So, what are you doing here?
Stranger: I am sitting ****
Stranger: typing
You: We're actually about four blocks down from your house, just sit tight.
Stranger: whats with all the ****ing questions
Sranger: wait, what?
You: You do realize that is not an appropriate place for you to lure young girls, correct?
Stranger: um okay
You: Is there anything you'd like to say to your friends and family right now?
Stranger: um no
You: Perhaps you've heard of us on
Stranger: interwebs don't speak
Stranger: don't confuse me
You: I think it's far too late for that.
Stranger: How are thins
Stranger: *things
Stranger: Lol
Stranger: so bringing this back into a more comfortable level
You: Please wait a moment while I transfer you to Sgt. Nicco, who will now Mirandize you, before we proceed any further.
Stranger: Uhhh... ****, does Mirandize mean what I think it means?
You: Good evening, sir. I'm Sgt. Nicco with the Internet Security Task force, and I'll be Mirandizing you today.
You: Yes, Mirandize means to advise you of your rights, both on the Internet and in the real world.
Stranger: Dude I wanted Peperoni on my pizza
Stranger: not mirandize
You: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of international law.
Stranger: Real world?
Stranger: I am silent
Stranger: I'M TYPING 
You: You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you.
Stranger: NOT SAYING
You: Really? I'm using my headset to convert speech to text.
Stranger: I just wanted to have a fun conversation
Stranger: but no
You: Well, too late for that.
You: Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?
Stranger: Dateline Sucks
Stranger: Fox is so much better
You: Sir, Mr. Hansen has left the building.
You: I will now be transferring you to your appointed attorney, Mr. Tuscon Lepht.
Stranger: Sounds racist
You: Hey there, partner, I understand you're in a bit of a bind here?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I want a muligun
You: We might be able to arrange that.
Stranger: I saw her first
Stranger: She's mine
You: My name is Tuscon Lepht, Attorney-at-Law.
Stranger: MINE
You: I'm very excited about this, this is my first Internet Crimes Case.
Stranger: Wheres Pheonex Wright
You: He's out of town on business.
Stranger: I want Pheonix Wright
You: He's out of town on business.
You: I'm your best shot.
Stranger: oh
You: Now, first we have to establish an alibi.
Stranger: ?
You: Where were you on April 5th, at about 6 p.m. Eastern time?
Stranger: Here
Stranger: talking with you
You: And what were you doing at that time?
Stranger: *jackbum*
You: No sir, I just got into the room.
Stranger: masturbation
Stranger: I was talking to whats his face
You: Very well, you were conducting a session of 'self-abuse', let me just note that here.
Stranger: you know
Stranger: that one dude
Stranger: with the mustache
Stranger: and the coke
You: Now, where you interacting with anyone at the time, or was this a solitary activity?
Stranger: Well that guy in Cell 45B was
You: Am I to understand that you are currently incarcerated?
Stranger: I mean it seemed like a good idea at the time
You: This is not good for our case.
Stranger: no I don't have cancer
You: As a convicted felon with prior offenses, it will be difficult to sway a jury to your side.
You: I think our best bet would be an insanity plea.
Stranger: what?
You: Can you act totally bat-**** crazy, on cue?
You: Ready? Go!
Stranger: **** YOU ****
You: Excellent!
Stranger: but isn't this purgery
You: I believe we can use the "James T. Reary" defense in this case!
Stranger: cant we get sam Waterstone?
You: No, it's only perjury if you get caught.
You: Well, I think I can get a court date set for us prety soon, how does May 15th, 2015 sound?
Stranger: i dunno
Stranger: I dont have the headset
Stranger: I cant hear sound
You: Don't worry about that, the 7 Dragon Balls made them obsolete.
Stranger: DBZ sucks
You: And finally, do I have your permission & consent to record this transcription onto
Stranger: okay
Stranger: why not
You: Outstanding.
Stranger: superbv
You: It has been a pleasure doing business with you.
Stranger: but you havent pleasured me yet
Stranger: jk
Stranger: jk
Stranger: jk
Stranger: *god this is wierd
You: Dude... if the best description you can give me is that it's round & flesh colored... I doubt there's much 'pleasuring' I can do for you.
Stranger: I'm not a romance novelist
Stranger: besides your 14
You: Even at 14, my second nut had dropped.
Stranger: **** off
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re right, that was fun.

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