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The Ferv

Avatar: Middle Finger
7

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

Long, but epic. I particularly like the finish. Log in to see images!

WARNING: Image links are shock pics.

Connecting to server…

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey guess what.

Stranger: What.

You: This game I play, this Forumwarz, they’re having a contest.

You: So I’m totally posting this on their forums.

You: After I fap

You: http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/d/d0/Siske_gif.gif/180px-Siske_gif.gif

You: Hang on.

You: ...

You: Typing one-handed.

You: One sec.

Stranger: LMAO.

You: ...

You: ...

You: ...

You: okay done.

Stranger: I have a picture for you to fap to!

You: That was fun!

You: Let’s see it.

You: Is it that goatse guy.

You: Totally hot.

Stranger: no it’s me

Stranger: http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/3990/37746439bs2.jpg

You: AWESOME

You: THAT IS SO COOL

You: KICKIN’ IT OLD-SKOOL

Stranger: Am I sexy?

You: Totally.

You: I would jizz in your bumhole if there was any room left.

Stranger: LMAO.

You: And all over your face…except I think you pretty much covered that already.

Stranger: Wow. I think I’m in love with you.

You: So uhhh…maybe your mammary glands.

You: Yeah, I’d jizz on your mammary glands.

You: Those are still…kind of…accessible, right?

Stranger: What do you mean?

You: Athough that stream of sweet sweet bum dribble might get in the way a little.

You: That’s okay, though!

You: It’s like God’s own drinking fountain!

Stranger: You’re a sad, strange little man.

You: Probably going to hell, too.

Stranger: Yeah…

You: Gonna say hi to Jalapeno Bootyhole when I get there, though!

Stranger: LMAO.

You: Gotta admire that man. He’d finger Satan himself in the bumhole to get somebody to like his game.

Stranger: Will you marry me?

You: Maybe.

You: I’ll deny it if anyone asks.

Stranger: Why??

You: And then slap you, start crying, and run to the nearest bar to get utterly and completely smashed.

Stranger: HOW RUDE.

You: Then I’ll come home, puke all over the couch, sleep in it, **** in my sleep, and wake up and blame you.

Stranger: Never mind. I don’t want to marry you.

You: Then start crying again, expose myself, and tell you I need your body right then and there.

Stranger: TAKE A SHOWER FIRST, DAMN

You: Oh. Yeah, okay.

You: I could do that.

You: ONLY IF YOU GAVE IT TO ME, THOUGH

You: MARRY ME, TUBGIRL!

Stranger: I’m not really tubgirl! I’m much sexier than her!

You: Oh, seriously?

You: Awesome.

Stranger: Srsly.

You: I mean, it’s tough to get hotter than that.

Stranger: I know.

You: So…I gotta be honest here.

You: Pics or it ain’t true.

Stranger: I don’t let strangers look at me naked!

Stranger: I’m only 12!

You: Sweet.

You: Do you look kinda like this?

You: http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/c/c4/Herm.jpg

You: I like ‘em sort of floppy.

Stranger: Sorry, no, I don’t.

You: Oh, bummer.

You: Well, you are 12, so you’re still hotter than Tubgirl.

You: Are you at least able to projectile **** into your own mouth?

Stranger: I’ve never tried. Should I?

You: YES.

You: And then send pics.

Stranger: Ok, will do.

You: AWESOME.

You: Make sure to forward them to Evil Trout.

You: He loves that sort of thing.

Stranger: You should add me on msn.

You: I have no msn, unfortunately.

You: I forgot my aim a while back. I use my plethora of gmail accounts to chat these days.

Stranger: Hmm. Well, do you have a website to spread an email around on??

You: http://www.forumwarz.com/profiles/The Ferv

You: That’s the one.

You: I like it when people **** up my stall.

You: Alternately, what kind of email?

Stranger: An email of someone I dislike! I want a bunch of people to spam him and add him!

You: Mmmmmm

You: Well, Anonymous is not your personal army.

You: But I may be able to help you.

You: What’s the email?

Stranger: babooshka_yaya@live.com

You: Right on, right on.

You: Only a live account?

Stranger: What?

You: That’s an MSN Live account.

Stranger: yes, and?

You: Free, easily created, easily ditched.

You: No Gmail or anything?

Stranger: No.

You: Ah, right on.

You: Well, I’ll spread the word then.

Stranger: Yay! I love you.

You: awesome.

You: Will you **** in my mouth?

You: I love projectile diarrhea.

Stranger: If that’s what you want!

You: NICE

Stranger: Well, it’s been fun. But I’m bored with you now.

Stranger: Soooooo. Bye.

You: **** YOU fine upstanding member of society fabulous person male reproductive organBISHOP bumMONGLER male reproductive organSUCKER

You: Okay bye.

You: Log in to see images!

Stranger: lmao.

Stranger: I love you.

You: Awww

You: So warm and fuzzy

Stranger: I CANT LEAVE

You: Like my male reproductive organ in a steaming pile of giraffe droppings, fresh from the morning dew.

Stranger: I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH

You: DOES THAT MEAN YOU’LL HAVE HOT POOP SEX WITH ME NOW

Stranger: YES

You: AWESOME I LOVE IT WHEN YOU **** ON MY male reproductive organ AND THEN PUKE ALL OVER IT AND THEN LICK IT ALL OFF.

You: Only if you share though!

You: I hate people who don’t share.

You: That stuff is tasty.

Stranger: But of course!

You: Awesome.

You: We’re on, then.

You: ...Except wait.

You: You’re okay licking the **** out of my tangled greasy bumhair and then puking it all over my chest, right?

You: I mean, that’s an important one.

You: Learned that from MC Banhammer – the man himself.

Stranger: Yes. Very ok with it.

You: That is SO INDESCRIBABLY HOT

You: Almost as hot as Fran’s fat rolls.

Stranger: alliteration

You: But you’re 12 years old, so I can excuse you not having fat rolls.

You: And precocious!

Stranger: =D

You: What a darling child OMG WANNA SHOVE MY male reproductive organ UP YOUR bum UNTIL IT TEARS THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES COATING ITSELF WITH **** AND MUCUS AND THEN BURSTS UP YOUR THROAT MAKING YOU VOMIT IT OUT YOUR MOUTH.

You: Mmmmmmmmm

You: Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “impaling yourself on my male reproductive organ”, doesn’t it?

Stranger: YOU’RE MAKING ME SOOOOO HORNY

You: THAT IS SO AWESOME

You: OHGOD I JIZZED IN MY PANTS

You: OH GOD THERES MORE

You: AND MORE

Stranger: I’m on a boat.

You: AND JESUS TITTY****ING CHRIST IT JUST WONT STOP

You: Awesome. I swim up from beneath the water and capsize it, plunging you underwater!

Stranger: OH ****

Stranger: IM ON A BOAT

Stranger: IM ON A BOAT

Stranger: EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME COS IM SAILING ON A BOAT

You: NO

Stranger: IM ON A BOAT

Stranger: IM ON A BOAT

You: YOU’RE IN SOVIET RUSSIA WHERE BOAT IS ON YOU

Stranger: TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THE MOTHER****ING BOAT

Stranger: YOU CANT STOP ME **** COS IM ON A BOAT

Stranger: I GOT MY SWIM TRUNKS, AND MY FLIPPY FLOPPIES

You: IS IT MY male reproductive organBOAT

Stranger: IM RIDING ON A DOLPHIN, DOIN FLIPS AND ****

Stranger: I wish.

You: Aw man.

You: That’s okay BECAUSE DOLPHINS MAKE ME HOT

You: DID YOU KNOW THEY HAVE PREHENSILE male reproductive organES

Stranger: Get the **** up. THIS BOAT IS REAL.

You: AND ONE HAS SLIPPED INSIDE OF YOU

You: THE BOAT IS A LIE!

Stranger: I NEVER THOUGHT ID BE ON A BOAT, ITS A BIG BLUE WATERY ROAD, POSEIDON LOOOOOK AT MEEEEE

Stranger: BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY

Stranger: I ****ED A MERMAID

You: SUP DAWG I HERD YOU LIKE TO BOAT IN YOUR BOAT SO I PUT A DOLPHIN male reproductive organ IN YOUR BOOTYHOLE SO YOU COULD PROJECTILE male reproductive organVOMIT INTO YOUR OWN MOUTH.

You: DID YOU **** THE TOP OR THE BOTTOM HALF

You: ‘Cause Evil Trout wants to talk to you if you ****ed the bottom half.

Stranger: So can you Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss til it’s Chubby like Checker, come on baby do the twist, it’s all in the wrist, like table tennis, so BEAT ME like Betty Crocker cake mix.

You: Okay.

You: I’m getting out my male reproductive organ!

You: SURPRISE

You: IT’S 4 FEET LONG

You: AND PREHENSILE.

You: I HAD SURGERY TO PUT MUSCLES IN JUST FOR THIS SORT OF OCCASION

Stranger: WHOA that’s longer than I am tall! I forgot to tell you I’m a midget.

You: I am so okay with that.

You: So can I start the beating now? That’ll make it that much better when I impale you and leave you out in the countryside to starve.

Stranger: Yes, please.

You: Did I mention I had Starfish genes put in too so I can regenerate it?

You: It falls off every once in a while, had to make sure

You: LET THE BEATING COMMENCE

Stranger: lmao.

You: I am whipping you with my male reproductive organ.

You: It feels like a LONG HARD LENGTH OF WET KNOTTED ROPY ROPE

You: With veins in it.

Stranger: I just JIZZED IN MY PANTS. Uh…... I mean…...... creamed my panties…...

You: That are alive. And throbbing.

You: Wait.

You: OH SHI-

You: AND THEN I TURN YOU OVER AND SEE YOUR ERECT male reproductive organ.

You: ****. WHAT DO I DO NOW?!

You: Quickly, I vomit all over your groin to hide the malformed lump that is your male reproductive organ.

You: Then I set fire to the vomit!

You: I am sure those are screams of pleasure I hear.

Stranger: Oh, they are.

You: Okay good, I was pretty sure, but it’s always nice to have confirmation.

You: You comfy now? Pubes burning nicely? Pillows nice and soft?

You: Can’t have you fidgeting while I’m ramming you in the bum.

Stranger: JUST DO IT

You: THEN I TAKE YOUR HIPS IN MY HANDS AND RAM MY ERECT, THROBBING, 4 FOOT LONG male reproductive organ INTO YOUR bum

You: I DO NOT CARE THAT I FEEL FLESH RIP WHEN IT GOES IN, IT IS SO TIGHT IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT IF YOU GET SOME RECTAL BLEEDING LATER

You: We’ll say you were on your period. Log in to see images!

You: AS IT GOES IN IT EXPERIENCES SOME RESISTANCE ENTERING YOUR INTESTINES

Stranger: You remind me of someone I know. WHAT’S YOUR NAME???

You: BUT NOT MUCH! WE’LL STRAIGHTEN THAT OUT IN NO TIME. Log in to see images!

You: Your mom?

You: I killed her last night to make it easier to get to you. Log in to see images! I’m sorry!

You: Your dad, too – and your favorite uncle. After that threesome, I simply couldn’t allow them to live.

You: I’m so sorry. Have I ruined it for you? Is it completely ruined?

Stranger: Wow. I really don’t like you now.

Stranger: My mom really is dead, you bumhole.

You: Oh man. I KNEW SOMETHING FELT WEIRD ABOUT LAST NIGHT’S VIC— I mean.

You: Um.,

You: I thought she was just chilly!

Stranger: **** you.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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