Stranger: hey

You: To escape the grip of a crocodile’s jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs-it will let you go instantly.

Stranger: thanks

Stranger: i didn’t know that

Stranger: any other advice?

You: Delete your system 32 folder- you get faster internet.

Stranger: i’ve already done that

Stranger: what else

You: O

You: More money is spent on gardening than on any other hobby!

Stranger: thats a lie

You: thats a truth

Stranger: i can think of plenty of hobbies more expensive than gardening

You: More than half of American families with teenagers use filters to limit access to adult content online.

Stranger: not mine

You: On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

Stranger: thats pretty much one every 3 days

You: If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Stranger: is that true for all statues?

You: Mebeh

You: Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.

Stranger: lies

You: House flies have a lifespan of two weeks.

Stranger: yep

You: Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Stranger: okay

Stranger: now thats a lie

Stranger: wait

Stranger: all americans?

Stranger: yeah that makes more sense

You: The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. -no fuxing lie

Stranger: i’m not qualified to have an opinion about that

You: The human brain is 80% water.

Stranger: could be

You: The word “democracy” is banned in online chat rooms in China. – complete win

Stranger: lol

Stranger: banned in english or chinese

You: Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt.

Stranger: maybe

You: The world’s longest game of Monopoly lasted more than 660 hours.

Stranger: probably

You: Reindeer like to eat bananas.

You: Abraham Lincoln faces to the right on a penny while all the other presidents face to the left on US coins.

You: Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

You: More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

You: Nurses and doctors wash their hands between patients less than one-third of the time.

You: I hope you learned something today.

Stranger: oh i did

You: You better have,

You: or else

Stranger: don’t worry

You: I have every right to.

Stranger: i hope you lead a virtuous life

You: Mosquito’s are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color. I will.

You: You can count on it

You have disconnected.