Stranger: help me

You: Hi, how do I get to fourth street from here?

Stranger: help, not believe this

You: I’m at the corner of broaday and meade

Stranger: i got my ring stuck on my clitoris

Stranger: ****

Stranger: it hurts

You: my google map says broaday ends in like two blocks

You: this isn’t about you it’s about my needs

You: and I need to get to the corner of fourth and meade

Stranger: ****

Stranger: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

Stranger: holy crap

You: I’m typing this on an iphone

Stranger: iphones = u watch too much tv

You: do you have an iphone?

Stranger: advertisement > you

You: oh.

Stranger: yup

You: Well still

Stranger: iphones are junk

You: can you tell me how to get to fourth and meade?

Stranger: u live in maryland?

Stranger: scanning

You: wichita

Stranger: nope

You: ****

Stranger: u suck

Stranger: on your transgender mom’s male reproductive organ

Your conversational partner has disconnected.