Maybe I’ve had some really bitter ex’s or I’m just paranoid but if this were me I’d want some kinda signed disclaimer:

Dear Police,

If you find my duct taped, battered, sexually abused body lying in a ditch/gutter.

Please don’t prosecute my (ex-) boyfriend.

All the best,

Love and kisses,

Signed:

Now I appreciate this could take some of the excitement out of it but I suppose you could always get her to sign it then lock it away and say, now it could be at any time, you just have to wait for that first bludgeoning exciting!