If you are looking for lots of tears, we would recommend Cuttington’s™ 100-Blade Razor if you’re on a budget (giving +100 Tears, currently available for  850), or Powerthirst if you are willing to spend a bit more (+175 Tears, and +45 Ego, currently available for  3,000).

While we would likely be able to acquire some Way More Tears™ Baby Shampoo (from China… really, it’s a little toxic) which would give +200 Tears, but the import fees, and its quasi-legal nature, would make its price around  9,000, which is probably only worthwhile for very special cirgreat timesstances, and we wouldn’t want to stock that without a specific buyer.

We do have plenty of razors and Powerthirst in stock, though.