MrSkullhead Posted:
And now for the other annual Crimbo tradition, which follows closely the “****ing about content” tradition.
tl;dr: Of all the bull**** critique of this content, accusing us of laziness is the worst. If you seriously think that, **** off and don’t come back. You will not be missed.
Arashmin, and those who share the sentiment below, **** you. **** each and every one of you. **** you sleeping, **** you waking up, **** you standing, **** you lying down. **** the horse you rode in on, the groom that brushed its mane, and the blacksmith that made its shoes. **** your mother, your father, any siblings, and any other living members of your family tree. **** you.
What is this ‘rehashed content’ that you’re talking about? The Crimbo Cafe? Dude, we didn’t have to change the ****ing cafe, I thought that was a fun little bonus to harken back to 2005, the first disappointing Crimbo. Did you ****s even notice the food was rolled back to the 2005 power? Since you whiny ****s were ****ing about how the food in the Cafe sucks since it’s been nerfed, I thought that’d make you happy. **** me for trying.
The rest of the content was not only pretty expansive, but also brand ****in’ new. Ten new monsters, with drops and craftables? A new mechanism for getting the craftables? Rare drops to keep it interesting? None of that resonating for you?
The narrative was weak compared to last year? Well, I guess it was pretty ****ing bad then, because last year everyone said the story was too easy to figure out and it was obviously a lame attempt to retcon Father Crimbo. And *that* story must have been super ****in’ lame, because it was even lamer than 2006’s story, which introduced some new character named Linnea just to defeat her at the end, and lacked a cohesive ending, and didn’t have enough content to keep people busy. I suppose before I rant about you sons of ****es complaining about how Crimbo sucks, I should wait ‘til next year, when this Crimbo was AWESOME and the new Crimbo sucks. Talk about rehashing old content…
Low drop rates? Favoring farmers? **** you. We put in a couple of rare items to make things interesting on both sides. No one said you HAD to have every single thing. Another example of us doing something new because everything we’ve ever done on Crimbo before sucks balls, according to you male reproductive organfabulous persons, and then suddenly every other Crimbo was awesome and this one sucks. The items are underpowered? **** YOU. What, because every other Crimbo had such powerful mother****ing items? Because Crimbo is known for introducing super powerful items into the ****ing Kingdom? **** off.
Leave it to you ****male reproductive organs to decide one side’s better than the other, so obviously we must have intended for one side to win. News flash: 99% of the people playing don’t care about your stupid bull****. If it was so obvious the elves were supposed to win, why was the margin so close? This was a huge first for KoL: a truly global event, where players’ actions directly influenced the flow of content and the outcome of the event. That was a huge departure, and we stuck with it to the end. I actually liked the penguin ending (which was already written, by the way, you bumholes), but we went with the elves because you decided they won. That was a response to last year, when people wondered if we kept track of whether people chose to kill Father Crimbo or not. “That was lame that whatever we picked, we got the same outcome.” “Oh, this year the players will be in charge of the outcome!” “**** you, that sucks.” Suck a male reproductive organ.
Nobody stacked the ****ing deck for either side, unless you’re the kind of spreadsheet-making, bean-counting, graph-making virgin who would seriously take optional ****ing bonus ****ing holiday ****ing content and analyze how optimal it is. **** off. Like I said, the final score indicates that people were vigorously killing on both sides, and it was damn near a tie (in which case I would have happily had the pirates come in and take over.
Presents are suboptimal? **** YOU. Have you ever gotten a crimbo pressie before? last year’s gave a +3 stat bonus once a day and gave a stat bonus while equipped. The year before gave a minuscule stat-tuned volleyball bonus. The year before was +15 spell damage, +5 cold damage, and +5 moxie. Jesus jumping Jehosaphat, how dare we nerf Crimbo pressies so much!
No outfit in the pressies? **** you. We put the outfit in the content last year, too, as a response to criticism that every previous Crimbo we gave people 1/3rd of an outfit.
No wrapping paper? **** you. You didn’t get any wrapping paper last year, either. We actually let you pick your own mother****ing present this year, and you’re complaining about the presentation?
The worst of all of this, the one that really ****es me off, is the whole “you guys were too lazy to write content so you stacked the deck so you wouldn’t have to do any interesting writing.” If you seriously believe that and you’re not just trolling, I invite you to get some mayo, mustard, and maybe a dollop of sour cream, and eat my mother****ing bum. We have all spent hours working on this content for you ungrateful ****es. Like I said, the penguin content would have been fun (as would a penguin Crimbo next year, so I may have to figure out how to work that back in). I liked my herring-themed Crimbo Cafe, but maybe it’ll pop up later. Nah, wouldn’t want to reuse content, even content people haven’t seen — that’d be lazy.
I take consolation in the fact that most people aren’t the kind of ****-male reproductive organed turdblossoms that have been posting in this thread. I just wish they’d be a little more vocal. Ah, well, at least this Crimbo will be the best ever when next year’s ****ty Crimbo rolls out. My work here is done: yet another disappointing Crimbo for the children. **** you.
This is the kind of behavior one shouldn’t expect from an admin. Very childish. This is what happens when you give an Aspie power on the internet.
P.S. – KoL Crimbo sucked. It was boring and the story was flat. There was so little new content that it does seem like they were just lazy about it. The items were terrible. None of the crimbo gifts seemed to match the nuclear grimacite fallout theme.
