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Douchous Noo-

Avatar: Baby Typing

[The Douche]

Level 16 Permanoob

“/b/tard ”

Doctor Whom Posted:

Doctor’s Log, Quantam-Variance Cycle 21:

The current test specimens, #27458 & #27569, have begun to engage in minor aberrant behavior. #27458 has begun to conceal itself in the waste evacuation & personal grooming chamber on a regular basis, but gravimetric analysis indicates virtually no significant amount of solid or liquid waste material being expunged biologically, and yet a biometric analysis indicates some type of discharge has occurred. Also, the subject’s physical appearance after spending, on average, 512 seconds in said chamber, is decidedly more disheveled, indicating that the secondary function of the chamber has not been utilized. Furthermore, the subject’s choice of literary material is confusing. Normally, it peruses a daily information report entitled, ’The New York Times’. However, during the anomalous instances, it instead chooses something called, ’The Abercrombie & Fitch 2009 Catalog’. However, as these instances are become more frequent and regular, we must bumume they serve some purpose. Further investigation is required.

As for Subject #27569, we regret to report that we are still baffled at its behavior. We will continue our research into why Subject #27569 dons the prosthetic mammary glands and dons the intricate and colorful costume, then walks back and forth along the same section of public ground transit for approximately 3.5 hours each Friday night. We believe there is a pattern that determines which vehicle he enters, and a formula that determines how much currency exchanges hands afterward.

Of further interest is how Subjects #27458 & #27569 interacted with one another last Friday night. We do not believe they are aware of our observations, but we will remain hidden for now.

//close log…. saved & archived

Dear Doctor,

While we are indeed impressed with the manner in which you are observing the specimens at hand, we wish for more intimate detail as to these specimens. As we all know control data is very important for experiments, so any variables, such as name, age, sex, and location are important if we are to replicate your experiment to confirm data. Please at your earliest convenience provide the necessary data so we might commence our own side experiment.

As always we appreciate any update to the situation you may have.


The Management

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