Someone’s extremely bumhurt, aren’t they?

Well, here’s My Ideas of Why These Ideas Will Never Work

5. Develop Anti-Troll Software

Ok, I agree that most troll posts consist of a bunch of very special nonsense, which the StupidFilter may block. But what if the StupidFilter started blocking posts that were not made by a troll? This could potentially cause problems.

Robot9000? Please, give me a break. Yes, it can block repetitive posts, but trolls will just start posting more diverse memes, thus rendering Robot9000 useless.

Audio Preview? Simple, just turn off the speakers, and troll away!

Real-Time Voice Sensor? Trolls will find ways past that. Trust me, they will.

4. Start a Posse of Moderators, and Arm Them

Great, you’re giving a bunch of people you’ve never even met in real life power that can potentially destroy entire sites? Some of those people could develop “itchy trigger-fingers” and start banning people that disagree with their ideals. It is a common problem with most sites, and giving these people moderation tools is like giving a psycho a loaded .357 magnum and leaving him in the middle of Times Square.

The “Tools”:

Disenvoweling

This will never work, because I think that people who read posts with the vowels missing from the words will still have a clear(ish) idea of what the troll is trying to say. Also, about the bit that says “it will make the troll look very special”, most trolls already look very special when they make posts. This tool is a piece of Log in to see images!.

Karma

Oh goodie, you’re suggesting we use a system of self-moderation that’s already being used by most sites. Brilliant idea, except there’s one flaw: Trolls could potentially coordinate their Karma votes on one particular user, bringing that user’s Karma score so low that it would hit the center of the Earth.

3. Unify the Culture

That’s the thing: you can’t unify internet culture. Some people will instinctively react to a troll post, calling him a ****wad and saying that he is very special. Sure, you can try all you want to make everyone conform to a basic standard. But, in the end, some people will be trolls, and some people will be regular joes who will react to troll posts.

Oh, and about your “Universal Blogger Code of Conduct”: most people will not even glance at it.

2. Up the Stakes for Membership

...ok, I can’t really say anything bad about this idea.

1. Pbum Some Kind of Law or Something Ending Anonymous Internet Use

Can you say “invasion of privacy”? After reading the article, I do think that this idea will help catch online predators, pirates, and hackers. But, here’s the part that ****ed me off:

Online advertisers who want to make billions off that 92% of housewives and adults who don’t use social networking for fear of being called a ****whale in public.

That’s a true invasion of privacy. I really do not think that personal information should be involuntarily given to businesses.

Also, here’s a scenario that the author never really thought of:

Let’s say that there are two little boys: Tommy and Billy. Under a new law that describes what the author meant by “ending anonymous internet use”, Tommy and Billy are both bumigned universal ID’s, complete with pbumwords. Tommy is making analyzed and constructive criticism on some videos that Billy uploaded onto YouTube. Billy is furious at Tommy. Billy then learns Tommy’s universal ID and pbumword, and decides to ruin Tommy’s reputation. He then goes to forums under Tommy’s name, and decides to insult various people, thus causing everyone in their town to hate (or at least think lesser of) him. I know this does not sound serious at first, but keep reading.

Now, let’s say that Billy (still under Tommy’s name) decides to have some fun, and post a fake bomb threat at some local bureaucratic office. After a while, the local police would discover the post, and dispatch a SWAT team. Guess who takes the blame on this one? After the SWAT team arrives in front of Tommy’s house and arrests Tommy, Billy is just sitting on his bum, taking no blame whatsoever, reading comics.

The point of the story is that if internet anonymity is ended, someone could potentially steal someone else’s online identity, and ruin that person’s reputation, or worse…

And those are my reasons on why Mr. Wong’s ideas will never work.