Copypasta.

Civil War, /b/

There’s some **** going on /b/ right now. It’s like a Civil War going on /b/. And there is two sides, oldfabulous persons and newfabulous persons, and newfabulous persons have go to go. Anytime oldfabulous persons want to have a good time ignorant bum newfabulous persons ****ing it up. Can’t do ****! Can’t do ****, without some ignorant bum ****ing it up! Can’t do nothing! Can’t make some original content thread open more than 100 posts. Grand opening…grand closing. Can’t see cool posts on the front page… WHY? Because newfabulous persons are talking about THE BEST.

Discuss.

I Just ****ed My Sister

Well wouldn’t you hit it? Over and over again?

Well wouldn’t you hit it? Over and over again?

This is NOT copypasta. I repeat NOT copypasta.

I know coming to /b/ for advice is a top notch bad idea, but I honestly have no where else to turn because this situation directly involves my family, and friends.

Let me start from the beginning, I am 18 and my sister is 21. I just finished high school and my sister is home from college. I guess this year her grades started slipping or something, because I walked past her room and she was crying. I walked inside her room to ask her what’s up and she hands me a letter – apparently she’s up for review by her college for dismissal. I feel kinda sorry for her so I gave her a hug and one thing led to another and we started making out. This is really weird because I’ve made out with girls before, but my sister blows them all out of the water. In the back of my mind lies the fact that she’s my sister and what we are doing is sick and wrong, but I guess my sister has more experience and it felt so ****ing good.

Here’s the dilemma – after making out, Karen started taking her clothes off and she started pulling my pants down. I’m like, hey, what are you doing? She’s like, oh come on Jordan, aren’t you even a LITTLE curious? I felt bad because its true, my sister is a hottie and I always wished that she wasn’t my sister. I’ve even gone as far as to fap to thoughts of doing her. She then said “For tonight, let’s not be brother and sister. I really need this because I feel like **** right now and our parents won’t be back till late and we aren’t going to tell anyone.

I pretty much just ****ed my sister. No, to be more honest, I just lost my virginity to my sister. My question, /b/, is WHAT THE **** DO I DO NOW?? What do people usually do after they **** their sisters?

The Girl Next Door

When I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into ‘you show me yours, I’ll show you mine”. So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. So What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said “fresh” and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought “naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!” I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie “yo homes smell ya later!” Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

[edit] Alpha Male

I’m an Alpha male /b/.

And girls want to **** alpha males. Let it **** you off as much as you want, but you know it’s completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don’t understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn’t called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she’ll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you ****ing touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I’m ****ing her.

The hot girl who won’t even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don’t exist once you finish?

Yeah, I’m ****ing her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She’s so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven’t worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they’ll always love me?

Angry sun

Anyone else see asianface in this?

Anyone else see asianface in this?

When I was about nine, I had recently gotten a Nintendo Entertainment System from a garage sale down the road, the first gaming system I ever had. One game that I bought was Super Mario Brothers 3, the final chapter of the widely-acclaimed SMB trilogy, which like in the original Super Mario Brothers consisted of Mario/Luigi chasing after Princess Toadstool (whose name has since been bastardized to ‘Peach’Log in to see images!. Back on topic though; I popped in the game in my new NES and pressed Start. I started at World 1, of course, and began playing. During this, I got used to the controls, map, and all that jazz. After all, it IS supposed to be kinda like a tutorial level. So I had advanced to World 2, “Desert Land” and I was moving along rather smoothly. In the back of my mind, I knew that at some point the levels would start to get more difficult. I soon noticed a tile, one unlike the other tiles (Toad houses, numbered tiles, etc). It appeared to be some cross-hybrid of flowing diarrhea and sand, which caught my attention. I navigated my way to the tile, and hit the A bumon and was warped to what appeared to be a normal level; there even was a happy sunshine in the top left corner! As I side-scrolled my way through the level, the ****ing sun decided to go ape**** and sodomize me repeatedly until I finally broke down in tears, throwing my controller at the ground screaming for my mom. That ****ing bastard.

And no, this is not copy pasta.

Atarii E.T.

Most gamers know the story of the hundreds of thousands of E.T. cartridges Atari crushed, encased in concrete, then buried in Alamogordo, New Mexico. What most gamers don’t know is who Atari buried along with them…

/b/ is…

/b/ is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.

/b/ is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.

/b/ is the one who wrote your number on the mall’s bathroom wall.

/b/ is a failing student who makes pbumes at his young, attractive English teacher.

/b/ is the guy loitering on Park Ave. that is always trying to sell you something.

/b/ is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.

/b/ is one who introduced you first to Goatse.

/b/ is a hot incest dream that you’ll try to forget for days.

/b/ is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.

/b/ is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.

/b/ is the best friend that tags along for your first date and male reproductive organ-blocks throughout night. The decent girl you’re trying to bag walks out on the date, /b/ laughs and takes you home when you’re drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who /b/ called for you.

/b/ is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.

/b/ is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the adviser.

/b/ is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.

/b/ is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.

/b/ is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn’t matter if she’s drunk.

/b/ is the friend who constantly talks about your mom’s rack.

/b/ is the only one who understands what the hell you saying.

/b/ is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his bum, and only that.

/b/ is the uncle who has touched you several times.

/b/ is still recovering in the hospital, after trying something he saw in a hentai.

/b/ is the pleasure you feel guilty of when you tried playing with your bum during masturbation.

/b/ is wonderful.

/b/ is not…

I realize that most of you have ether forgotten what /b/ is or are simply newfabulous persons who don’t know.

/b/ is not where we make posts talking about our personal lives and our problems…we’re not your ****ing livejournal

/b/ is not some place where we giggle at memes….we’re not ****ing YTMND

/b/ is not some place where we make confessions we’re not ****ing grouphug

/b/ is not some place where we find pictures on other websites and post them here …we’re not ****ing ebaumsworld

/b/ is not some site where we go to jerk off to hentai pics….we’re not ****ing aerisdies

/b/ is not some place that you go to, to get someone to hack your girlfriend’s e-mail account because shes cheating on you for the 15th time…we’re not your ****ing personal army

/b/ is not some place you go to ask for help with a personal problem, we’re not your ****ing psychologist

/b/ isn’t some place you go to trash talk other people you’ll never meet simply because its an anonymous board with “no rules” and you can get away with it with out any repercussion…we’re not a ****ing group of internet tough guys

/b/ is not NICE

so /b/....what IS /b/...i want to see how long it takes for someone to get it.

Beating up a girl

SEE ALSO: Azn enjoy

SEE ALSO: Azn enjoy

when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the **** out of her.

By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small mammary glands will entirely black and blue, her woman's genitals was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.

When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.

I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my male reproductive organ (I has actually hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.

It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of great times ever all over face and chest.

Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my male reproductive organ and tossed it to her.

I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of high school kids did it.

When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

...god I’m ****ed up.