BoP Posted:
Two hours and several shots later, Dave was in bed trying half-heartedly to decipher the plot of a TV movie when the phone rang. Mustering up the will to move, he muted the television and picked up the phone on the 5th ring.
“Hello, David?” It was Jessica, his long-time girlfriend.
“Hey Jessie, how’s it going?”
“I’ve been busy. This one client, he won’t stop calling, 20 times a day, asking the same questions over and over. I keep telling him, ‘Calm down! I’ll tell you if the situation changes!’… You haven’t been drinking again, have you?”
“No.” David lied.
“Good. All that alcohol is bad for you, you know. My brother-”
“Hey, Jess!” He said, cutting her off. He had no desire to hear any more stories about Jessica’s deadbeat brother. “You won’t believe what happened when I got home from work today!”
She was quiet as he told her about the odd incident earlier that day.
“Let me get this straight,” she said incredulously. “You found a stranger who had broken into your house, and you just walked up to him and said hello?”
“What? It wasn’t like that Jess. He wasn’t violent, unless you consider insulting my fashion sense violence.”
He heard her sigh on the other end. “David, if there’s an intruder in your house, you call the police. You don’t just introduce yourself. Don’t you have any common sense at all?”
“What would they have charged him with, breaking and laundering?”
She didn’t laugh. “David, sometimes I feel like you just treat life as a big joke. I wish you were a little more bumertive.”
Dave had the impression she wasn’t talking about the incident anymore. He couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Anyway,” she said, breaking the silence, “The only reason I called you was to remind you about friday night. We’re still on, right?”
Dave looked at his watch. It was thursday, and he still hadn’t made a reservation. “Yeah, of course we’re on.”
“Okay, good. Hey, I gotta go. And David?”
“Yeah?”
“…Take care of yourself, all right?”
“Sure.”
The phone went dead in his ear, and he rolled over to replace it on the cradle. This friday would be the 3 year anniversary of when they began to see each other and he was going to take her somewhere nice. She was a very driven person, and somewhat of a career girl, and sometimes he felt like she was frustrated with his relative lack of motivation. She had begun to drop pointed lines about marriage, and though the idea of marrying her appealed to him he just couldn’t commit to making that final step. He wondered if she expected him to propose on Friday. Well, if she did, she was going to be disappointed. He turned off the television and flipped off the light, exhaling deeply into his pillow. It only took him a few minutes to pbum out.
Terrible dialogue that does absolutely nothing for the story. Also, the days of the week should be capitalized.
Sentence says he is intentionally being lazy. Is this what you meant?
