David was so accustomed to his solitary living arrangements that the sight of a complete stranger in his house stunned him for several seconds. He put his briefcase down gently, looking around and rebumuring himself that this was, indeed, his house. The intruder had his back to him, standing in the little alcove off the kitchen that housed his laundry machines, and he didn’t seem to be aware of David’s presence. Dave edged in a little closer and peered around him to see the stranger pull one of Dave’s shirts from the dryer and hang it neatly on the rack. David cleared his throat tentatively and the stranger turned around, smiling amicably and clutching a wadded t-shirt. He was a full head taller than David, with perfectly parted blonde hair and a smile of perfectly white and evenly spaced teeth. He exuded charisma from every pore and Dave couldn’t help himself from shrinking back a couple of steps.
“Erm… This is my house,” Dave pointed out.
“Yeah, I know,” the man said pleasantly. “I hope you don’t mind. I noticed you weren’t using your laundry machines so I thought I’d put on a wash.”
“Those are my clothes too!”
“I know! They were strewn all over your room! You really should take better care of your things.” In two long strides the stranger crossed the distance between them and David found himself pinned up against the kitchen counter. He flinched, expecting the inevitable attack by his crazed intruder, but the man instead pinched a fold in his shirt, pulling it out and examining it.
“Look at that stain! And see how wrinkled it is!” He shook his head despairingly. “You really should wash your clothes more often.”
Dave felt himself flush, and was about to protest that this was only his second day of wearing this shirt when he caught himself. Why should he explain himself to anyone, let alone this nut who had apparently broken into his house to do Dave’s laundry?
“Look, you can’t just… What’s wrong with you? Get out of my goddamn house! How did you get in here?”
“Simmer down man! I was just about to leave anyway. If you didn’t want me coming in you shouldn’t have left the door open.”
Dave had a clear memory of locking the door that morning but he didn’t feel like arguing the point.
“Just get out of here already, please. Christ.”
“Sure thing!” he said, grinning broadly, releasing Dave’s shirt and heading to the door. “See you around!” He walked outside with a spring in his step, leaving the door wide open.
Dave closed the door a little harder than necessary, and stood there for a few moments with his forehead leaning against a door. He could feel a headache coming on. Abruptly he stood up and headed toward the cabinet in the corner, from which he procured a small glbum and a bottle half-full of whiskey. He filled the glbum halfway, stood thinking for a moment, shrugged to himself and filled it to the brim. It was going to be that kind of night.
—-
Two hours and several shots later, Dave was in bed trying half-heartedly to decipher the plot of a TV movie when the phone rang. Mustering up the will to move, he muted the television and picked up the phone on the 5th ring.
“Hello, David?” It was Jessica, his long-time girlfriend.
“Hey Jessie, how’s it going?”
“I’ve been busy. This one client, he won’t stop calling, 20 times a day, asking the same questions over and over. I keep telling him, ‘Calm down! I’ll tell you if the situation changes!’… You haven’t been drinking again, have you?”
“No.” David lied.
“Good. All that alcohol is bad for you, you know. My brother-”
“Hey, Jess!” He said, cutting her off. He had no desire to hear any more stories about Jessica’s deadbeat brother. “You won’t believe what happened when I got home from work today!”
She was quiet as he told her about the odd incident earlier that day.
“Let me get this straight,” she said incredulously. “You found a stranger who had broken into your house, and you just walked up to him and said hello?”
“What? It wasn’t like that Jess. He wasn’t violent, unless you consider insulting my fashion sense violence.”
He heard her sigh on the other end. “David, if there’s an intruder in your house, you call the police. You don’t just introduce yourself. Don’t you have any common sense at all?”
“What would they have charged him with, breaking and laundering?”
She didn’t laugh. “David, sometimes I feel like you just treat life as a big joke. I wish you were a little more bumertive.”
Dave had the impression she wasn’t talking about the incident anymore. He couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Anyway,” she said, breaking the silence, “The only reason I called you was to remind you about friday night. We’re still on, right?”
Dave looked at his watch. It was thursday, and he still hadn’t made a reservation. “Yeah, of course we’re on.”
“Okay, good. Hey, I gotta go. And David?”
“Yeah?”
“…Take care of yourself, all right?”
“Sure.”
The phone went dead in his ear, and he rolled over to replace it on the cradle. This friday would be the 3 year anniversary of when they began to see each other and he was going to take her somewhere nice. She was a very driven person, and somewhat of a career girl, and sometimes he felt like she was frustrated with his relative lack of motivation. She had begun to drop pointed lines about marriage, and though the idea of marrying her appealed to him he just couldn’t commit to making that final step. He wondered if she expected him to propose on Friday. Well, if she did, she was going to be disappointed. He turned off the television and flipped off the light, exhaling deeply into his pillow. It only took him a few minutes to pbum out.
—-
David woke up slowly, surfacing from disjointed and unsettling dreams. He opened his eyes to see his bedside clock blinking 8:35. “Oh, ****!” He said, sitting up suddenly and wincing when the blood rushed into his head, carving like knives behind his eyeballs. With his commute he was practically guaranteed to be half an hour late, at least. Pulling on a pair of pants, he hopped into the bathroom where he washed down two aspirins with a generous amount of water.
Ten minutes later he was out the door, joining the late wave of commuters, each heading toward their own daily grinds. Dave’s own personal daily grind was that of a Human Resources lackey in a software company. It was his official job to pore over dozens of complaints and requests, and his unofficial job to bear the brunt of complaints about anything from a lack of chairs to malfunctioning coffee machines. Never mind that it wasn’t his fault, he was just another link on the chains of bureaucracy.
On the way he called up the restaurant that he planned to take Jessica to. He was slightly relieved to hear that they still had seats available, and made a reservation for two at 8:00. Next he called up Jessica, only to reach her voice mail. He left her a message, telling her to be ready to be picked up at 7:30. He felt accomplished when he hung up. Maybe his lateness would go unnoticed by his managers. Maybe he would be able to catch up on all the work that had been piling up around him. Hell, if he was really lucky, maybe Jessica would forego her ‘purity before marriage’ trip tonight and go him with him after a successful outing. A man can dream.
His good mood only lasted until he pulled into the company parking garage to find that someone had parked in his spot. Granted, there were no official spaces, but everyone knew that was his spot. Finding another space in this crowded garage would set him back by at least another five minutes. Cursing under his breath, he drove up floor after floor, finally finding a row of empty spaces near the top. He pulled in quickly, leaving the car at an awkward angle, and half-ran half-walked to the elevator. He was forty minutes late, not exactly a record for him, but the last thing he needed in addition to his piled up work was a hostile boss frothing at the mouth.
In the main building he took the elevator up to the fifth floor where he worked. Ducking his head and trying to strike a balance of speed and discreteness, he hustled to his cubicle. He ducked in, ready to breathe a sigh of relief, but his breath caught in his throat. Somebody was sitting at his seat, with a spreadsheet open on his computer. David was preparing to mumble his apology for his lateness when the man spun around in his seat to face him. His mind tangled up, and he could only stare with his jaw hanging open at the beaming face of the man who had done his laundry yesterday.
“You. What are you doing here?”
“Me? I’m just catching up on some work. Just look at this!” He said, gesturing to the sizable In tray. “It really does sneak up on you. But you’ll be glad to know I’m well on my way to finishing this stuff right off!”
“Are you insane? Get out of my office. Right now!”
The amiable grin on the man’s face disappeared, replaced with confusion and anger.
“Who are you to tell me that? I work here, buddy! What’s your problem?”
The pulse running through David’s forehead felt dangerously close to exploding.
“This is ridiculous. I’m not paid to deal with this. I’m going to go talk to my boss about this” He said, “And if you were smart, you’d leave right now before somebody escorts you out!” He stalked off, fuming, completely immune to the confused glances of his coworkers. He slammed into his boss’s office without knocking. Mr. Krantz, his boss, looked up from an open folder with a look of startled annoyance. He was a short, pudgy man with thinning black hair, and what seemed to be a permanent scowl etched into his face.
“Do you want something?”
“Yes I do, I want you to get this wanker out of my office! Yesterday he was in my home, today he’s in my cubicle! It’s absurd, and I want him out!”
Mr. Krantz frowned deeper and squinted at David.
“Do I know you?”
“Do you know me!?” David exploded. “No, of course not! It’s not as if I’ve been working for you for the last 6 years! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Hey Maxwell, is this guy bothering you?” a voice asked. David looked back to see the intruder standing in the doorway of the office.
“Yes he is, David, do you know him?”
“Not a clue! He was in my workspace a few minutes ago, ranting and raving about how I was in his cubicle. Security’s already been called, they’ll be here momentarily.
David looked back and forth between them disbelievingly.
“What? Did you just call him David? I’m David, you prick! I’ve always been David! Look at me and tell me you don’t know who I am! Look at me.”
There was a sudden bustle at the doorway, and the stranger moved aside to make way for a burly security guard who laid a meaty hand on David’s shoulder.
“I’m afraid you have to leave the premises, sir. You can either walk out or I can throw you out.”
David looked despairingly at his boss, who stared back like one would stare at a lunatic on the street. There wasn’t a hint of recognition on his face.
“He’s hypnotized you or something. He’s done something to you! What did you do to him you bastard?”
“Time to go buddy,” the guard said. Dave felt himself be hoisted up, and next thing he knew he was being driven down the hallway, his feet barely touching the floor. He was whisked through the hallway, down the stairs, and tossed roughly out the emergency stairwell door. He stood there, seething, for a moment, breathing hard, his fingernails digging painfully into his palms.
He walked around to the front of the building with a purposeful gait, and surveyed the territory. It was a nice area, with a sizable park-like public area separating it from the major street that ran by it. He chose a bench, far enough away that he wouldn’t be conspicuous, but close enough so he could watch anyone who came out of the building. He was going to wait, and watch, and when the trespbumer came out – which he would have to do eventually – Dave was going to follow him. He didn’t really have a plan of what to do when he caught up with him, but he needed to do something. What choice did he have?
The hours pbumed interminably. For the first two hours of his vigil, every five minutes he would feel compelled to check his watch. After the fourth hour he didn’t move at all, except to scratch the occasional itch. He stared at the front of the building, unblinking and unthinking, until it seemed to him that it wasn’t even real anymore – just a two-dimensional cardboard cutout propped up from behind; a facade that would fall over if he just reached out and pushed… What if I’m the crazy one? No, that’s ridiculous. Everything was going just fine until this stranger came into his life, with his goddamned movie-star looks and can-do attitude and his goddamned fake-friendly smile.
Twice he was about to doze off, but caught himself. This was one thing he wouldn’t allow himself to screw up. And finally, after what seemed like a dozen eternities, the shadows began to get long, and the first wave of employees began to straggle out of the building. Closing time. As people continued to pour out of the building, he sat leaning forward, scrutinizing each person, double and triple-checking. No sign of him. at 5:15 the flood of liberated office workers turned into a trickle, and soon stopped completely. He sat there still, waiting. There was no way he could have missed him. Does he know I’m out here, waiting for him? Is he afraid of me? It was a satisfying thought, and it warmed him for a bit, but the feeling didn’t last long. It was 6:00 and there was no sign of movement. With each pbuming minute he was more convinced that he had missed him somehow. It was impossible, but he must have missed him. He waited for another twenty minutes, hoping to see him show his face, but it was a lost cause. It was almost 6:30 and he had a date to prepare for, he could deal with this prick later.
How hard could it be anyway, he mused to himself as he started up his car and began the trek home. It would be easy. Just make a few calls, confirm some records, some paperwork and photo I.D’s and he’d be all set. Maybe that wouldn’t even be necessary at all, perhaps he would come in on Monday to find everything back to normal. Maybe this was just a fluke, a freak storm on the placid lake of his life that he just needed to wait out.
—-
A chilling wind was whipping through the streets when he pulled up in front of Jessie’s house. Cold front moving in. He gave himself a once-over in the rearview mirror and nodded to himself, pleased. He looked pretty spiffy. He stepped out of the car, stiffening slightly in the frigid breeze, and jogged up the front walk and rang the bell. Jessica’s housemate, Sandy, opened the door, brushing her haphazard curly hair aside and blinking up at him through her small, rounded glbumes.
“Hey, where’s Jessie?”
“Oh, she’s not here right now,” Sandy said, chewing absently on a lock of hair.
“What do you mean she’s not here?”
“She left with her boyfriend like thirty minutes ago. What’s your deal anyway, you a friend of hers?”
Dave’s mouth and throat seemed to have dried up completely.
“No,” he tried to say, but it came out as an unintelligible croak. He felt like he had been kicked in the gut.
“This boyfriend, what does he look like?” He said, after managing to gain back control over his vocal chords.
She gave him an odd look and shrugged. “I dunno. Tall guy, blonde hair. Fit. He’s pretty cute I guess, I’d do him.”
He wasn’t listening to her anymore, he was already running back to his car, shoes pounding dully on the pavement.
