Essential if you’re going to make it correlate to a rank system-Make each Epeen correlate to a different “Epeen Number”, which effects your count differently. Like someone with 10 epeen that are mostly threes would beat someone with 20 that are 1s.

Also, take this article that ultimately defines gayness:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/male reproductive organ_fencing

And turn it into some sort of multiplayer minigame in which epeen length gives you an advantage.