“I have a nine inch tongue, and I can breath through my ears.”

“Did you just fall from heaven? Cause you’ve got nice mammary glands.”

“Are you attracted to men who can eat their own face?”

“I’ve got two male reproductive organes. No, don’t laugh, it’s a serious medical condition! I’ll likely die before I’m 30!”

“I’ll pay you if you have sex with me.”

“My what a large… Crotch… Bulge you have. On second thoughts, never mind.”

“I have a large collection of sheep related paraphernalia.”

“15, you say? Why, you don’t look a day over 12.”

“I’m an internet celebrity, you know. Yeah. Goatse.

“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but notice you have an eye patch. I’m guessing that you’ve hung around in enough bars to see where I’m going with this.”

“I guarantee you that if you come home with me, it’ll be a night to remember until you die. Because I plan to kill you afterwards.”

“I have a terminal illness that will kill me in 24 hours. What? As a matter of fact, yes, it IS contagious!”

Finally, this one only works in dark alleyways, but boy is it effective!

“Scream, and I’ll cut you.”