Noturnal_Heartache Posted:

Of course not. No one ever believed him when he said things like that. That just meant he was going to go out and pick up a new wife. He didn’t even like milk.

She calls him an embarrbumment to the family because of his, uh, debauchery. She used to call me an embarrbumment because I won’t wear pink sundresses.

Um, he didn’t have any friends so I guess he could have conspired with himself. Although that just seems like a waste of time.

I like you more than my Uncle Jack, so I’m just going to dub you my new Uncle Jack.

Well, I’m pleased that you would call me your Uncle Jack but I doubt I am. I’m not actually a womanizer like your Uncle Jack.

Your mother sounds like someone I know. Perhaps she’s a member of some organization, I dunno. That Uncle Jack fellow is a shady type, too. Maybe the women he interacts with aren’t actually there for his sexual pleasure.

Pink sundresses? Why won’t you wear pink sundresses? Are you some sort of superheroine whose weakness is pink sundresses? Does it somehow drain you? This might be interesting.

Janie Posted:

What is exactly in the center of the Earth? I mean, I know they teach us that it’s a bunch of lava or something, but all I can think of is Tootsie-Pops.

The center of the earth is a bunch of Tootsie-Pops?

Oh, that’s rich. But it would explain how it takes many licks to get to the center of a tootsie-pop. Perhaps the earth is just one big tootsie-pop that doesn’t taste good? This is even more interesting.