You’ve heard me correctly, you bastards.

Weeks and weeks of trolling and insults have caused great, brooding trauma and anger in me, and now I’ve snapped. That whole troubled teen thing? Just a facade, my friends. You have released the true Hilton in me, the only my mother gave to me when I crowned out of her cervix. My dark, evil past has come through.

My MISSING sister? All me. I cut her stomach open with that broken Shirley Beans record and fed her entrails to my pets. Only after I raped her, that is. Or was it before? I don’t remember, but it was pretty hot.

I didn’t want this to happen, but my dark side has come out. I hope you don’t hurt my feelings any more, or else I will be forced to insult you back. I’m not a troll, but I’m not afraid to use what I’m not.

Cower in fear, TSB, for you have spawned a dark and terrible new enemy.

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