Big Brother Posted:

Once there was a chicken and a duck. The chicken said “Would you like to know the definition of irony?” The duck said “Sure!” So the chicken said “Look it up in the dictionary!”

The duck went to the dictionary. He found the right page. The book slammed shut on his wing.

So the chicken went to the duck and said “Here is a story that could help you understand.” And he started.

“There was once a race of aliens called Ironians. They were odd because whenever they weren’t on a planet, they moved so slowly that what they thought was two seconds was really one million years.”

“One said to the other, ‘I’m hungry. Lets eat someone,’ and the other agreed. So they went down to Earth and met some cavemen. They asked a caveman who they worshipped and the caveman said “Ug.”

They came back in modern times and said “I am the great and powerful UG!” They got laughed in the face. Except they didn’t have faces, so it was impossible, so the universe blew up.”

The duck said “What does that have to do with irony?” and the chicken replied “Well- Hey! Chickens and ducks can’t talk! It’s impossible!”

So the universe blew up.

Except it didn’t.

Because it couldn’t.

Why?

I don’t know. But I do know the difference between a typewriter. They both have a 42.

Come to think of it, the universe did blow up.

Why?

I don’t know. But I do know the difference between a 42. They both have a typewriter.

Why? I’m not a 42ologist. That is a person who studies the behavior of 42s.

Why?

I don’t know. But I am a Kronkzotoligist. Kronkzot blew up with the rest of the universe.

So there is nothing to study about.

So there is not effort.

So everyone is a Kronkzotoligist.

Fortunately, I have salvaged the last Kronkzot. Here it is.

The End

You just succinctly soiled Douglas Adam’s work and writing in general in one foul story. Great job, mate!