You know why you know so much about sloths? Because your momma’s a ****ing sloth whore.

It’s true! I work in the same office as someone who used to be a zookeeper in San Diego, and she says that she helped deliver you from a female sloth there, after watching one of her co-workers **** that sloth six months earlier. And then the co-worker gave that sloth $100! See? “****ing sloth whore”. And that makes you a bastard child of a ****ing sloth whore.

If I was willing to give the government-sponsored admins of this site access to my PayPal account, I’d buy brownie points and give you that custom title. “Bastard child of a ****ing sloth whore.”