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When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I molested my uncle. I made him do

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something. I made him touch me.

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It was a Sunday night, the weekly evening reserved for homemade ice cream at

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grandma’s house. She actually wasn’t even my real grandma—she was the woman

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my real grandfather married after divorcing my real grandmother. Their

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children were half-siblings of my father’s and I didn’t care much for these

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weekly meetings of the illegitimate Corton family, and after years of

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sorrowful campaigning, my dad finally gave up and we stopped visiting. But

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before that fateful day, I had a profound homosexual moment with my Dad’s

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half-sister’s husband: Uncle Gary.

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He was dark-haired, handsome, glbumes, mustache, bookish but brawny. I

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admired him deeply, despite having barely spoken with him. We were on our way

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home, and I was in the back of his station wagon with his sons, half asleep.

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When the car pulled into the driveway and stopped I realized that if I had

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fallen completely asleep my uncle would have to carry me to bed. I would be

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carried to bed by a MAN. A man with a MUSTACHE. I planned my attack: I would

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ignore anything he said, and lie motionless. It would be so romantic that we

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would kiss and get married and live happily ever after with my cousins as my

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new stepsons. I would trim his body-hair. I was going to make the best wife

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EVER.

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Soon he was opening the door. I was pretending to be asleep but thinking “do

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it, do it, do it…” I felt my weight shift as his large arms dug underneath

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me and hoisted me up into his warm embrace. He carried me to the front door.

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Through the living room. Down the hall. My cheek was touching his bicep. My

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legs dangled at the knee. Into the bedroom. He lowered me onto the mattress

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and I whistled for a cab and when it came near the licensplate said fresh and

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had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare-

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but I thought naw forget it, yo homes to bel-air. I pulled up to the house

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about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, homes smell you later.

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I looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince

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of bel-air