Janie Posted:

Biff,

I want you to know that the pain and darkness I am about to unleash on this unsuspecting community lie at your feet. I have to pour out my feelings, and I have to do it here, in the place where I first fell in love with you.

How long can one live with a heart in a thousand pieces? We shall see. But whatever happens, you should know that it’s your fault.

Janie

You know, this would all have been solved a long time ago, and your heart wouldn’t be in a thousand pieces, if you had only listened to my advice when you were first asking about stalking. And it’s not too late! Take my advice now and win your true love back:

mammary glands or GTFO.