You hear a voice in the distance. “Greetings friends!” It yells.

“Perchance I might join you on your quest?”

You turn around and look. It’s a ****ing bard. “I shall sing annoying songs and jerk off as I watch you get raped by monsters because I didn’t lift a bloody finger!”

You feel yourself losing control. If this bard does anything fruity, you are going to beat him until he dies twice.

“Brave, Brave Sir Robin!”

This quote sends you over the edge. You awake two hours later. Your chest is covered in gore, your prostate really hurts and your appear to be carrying a severed hand in your mouth.

You have obtained the defiled corpse of the fruity bard! Also, you should get yourself checked. That bard has been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean.Log in to see images!

Rerolling.