Anansi Posted:

Esteemed sirs and/or outsourced Indian secretaries paid to give unhelpful replies and/or automatic email response generator:

Of course you realize this means war.

I won’t pay this fine I’ve incurred, it’s unjust!

As promised I have taken drastic action, starting with sodomizing the members of ABBA while forcing them to sing “Dancing Queen”. Next I am coming for your children, your outsourced labor force’s bank accounts, and/or your algorithms.

Swift and bloody vengeance,

Anansi

PS I have diverted funds from Christie Brinkley’s bank account in order to cover my bill.

PPS That’ll teach the **** to inspire songs like “Uptown Girl”.

Uptown girl

Shes been living in her uptown world

I bet she never had a back street guy

I bet her mama never told her why

Im gonna try for an uptown girl

Shes been living in her white bread world

As long as anyone with hot blood can

And now shes looking for a downtown man

Thats what I am

And when she knows what

She wants from her time

And when she wakes up

And makes up her mind

Shell see Im not so tough

Just because

Im in love with an uptown girl

You know Ive seen her in her uptown world

Shes getting tired of her high clbum toys

And all her presents from her uptown boys

Shes got a choice

Uptown girl

You know I cant afford to buy her pearls

But maybe someday when my ship comes in

Shell understand what kind of guy Ive been

And then Ill win

And when shes walking

Shes looking so fine

And when shes talking

Shell say that shes mine

Shell say Im not so tough

Just because

Im in love

With and uptown girl

Shes been living in her white bread world

As long as anyone with hot blood can

And now shes looking for a downtown man

Thats what I am

Uptown girl

Shes my uptown girl

You know Im in love

With an uptown girl

My uptown girl

Dont you know Im in love

With an uptown girl

My uptown girl

Dont you know Im in love

With an uptown girl

My uptown girl