Dear Friends;

Mostly, this note is to that devious woman's genitals Crazy4Clay69 who I thought was my best friend and who definitely won’t be reading this. That’s because that nasty twat committed suicide. Good riddance psycho-****.

Ever since we became online friends, I was constantly posting to rebumure that neurotic snatch about our friendship. How much did I need her? “More than anything”. Would I do anything for her? “Absolutely”. And then that nutty skank set me up and ****ed me over by asking what I’d do if she died.

Unthinkingly, I posted “I’d kill myself.”

To which she replied, “Rely?”

To which I replied, “yes reallyLog in to see images!”

To which she replied, “I meant to type, ‘Really?’”

To which I replied, “I know what you meant, silly<8)”

To which she replied “Really?”

To which I replied “Really what? Did I know you meant ‘Really?’ when you typed ‘Rely?’ Or did I really mean I’d kill myself?”

To which she tried to reply, but the thread was too long and we had to start a new post. In the end I convinced Crazy4Clay69 that I would indeed kill myself if she died.

What the **** were you thinking MasterBaiter? You spend your whole life trying not to die in a jihad or as a religious sacrifice and then you **** it all away by casually agreeing to an online suicide pact. God damn it.

Sure, sure, I could clear out my temporary internet files, stop accepting cookies, sign up for a new journal and leave my old online world behind. But anyone who has spent even 2 minutes reading my blog knows that’s not how I roll. I live up to my responsibilities, even when they technically aren’t my doing (see my “Errrr!!!!! Blockbuster Late Fees” entry on September 6).

So, to all of you who have enjoyed my journal, I must say thank you, good-bye and be sure to sign my guestbook.

There is no emoticon to express how much I hate that woman's genitals.

MasterBaiter

P.S. If you get a collect call from a cow in India in the next couple of years, accept the charges