As I sit

I think of you

Feeling guilty

For loving you

Days of loneliness

Days of sorrow

Days of sadness

That led to heartache and pain

In which I think I may never again recover

Feeling ever so pitiful

I can’t help myself though

I just can’t seem to get over you

I utterly hate you

And yet I’m hopelessly infatuated with you

But I feel like darkness trapped in the dead of light

No where to hide

But in itself

A place where there is no admittance

Fear seems to feel like home

Love the enemy

Am I not worth it?

Worth you taking admiration of me

It hurts

The sight of you in the arms of another

Do you do it in spite?

Just make me hurt

Sometimes I think I might end my time here

But then

Back to reality I come

And back to darkness I return

It’s sick

How good I feel when I think of death

Just to rid myself of you

And it’s extremely gruesome

How I plan your demise

If only you knew

My wicked mind is even too much for me at times

But the just of it is. . .

It is you

The one that broke me

And it will be you

To know how it feels

To be stuck here

Inside my world

With no ****ing way out

Wanting to be somewhere else

But not being able to move

Wanting to feel just the smallest amount of happiness

And only feeling unwanted

Wanting to be the only one

And feeling like the only one left out

And in the end

It will be me that saves your soul