Clbumified information realeased

My superiors have seen fit, (against my better judgement), to allow the release of previously clbumified, information, for the purposes of recruitment.

As many of you already know, I am Monkey in a suit with a gun. What you do not know is, I am a secret agent. At this time I am not allowed to discuss which Government or Government agencies I am affiliated with.
Suffice it to say, they have deemed it necessary, for purposes of security, to embed myself and others within this computer site.
Rumors of illegal computer tampering, hacking and espionage, as well as a laundry list of other illegal activities have prompted this move.

At this time, the identities of the other embeds, are to remain anonymous, while I act as the front man for this recruiting operation.

Let me also take this time, since my cover here is already blown, to answer some question I have been repeatedly asked by several of you.

I have recieved tubmails of questions such as, “Monkey in a suit with a gun, how is it that you are able to read and write, since you are a monkey?”
“Why the suit?”
“Why the gun?”

As you have probably deduced by now, the answer to the latter two questions is the same.
I am a spy.

The answer to the first question is a bit longer and more detailed, but I shall endeavor to answer as much as I am able, without divulging any other clbumified information.

I was born in Borneo to a typical childhood of bananas and trees and picking lice and ticks.
This is a picture of me, as a wee lad.
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Shortly after reaching puberty, I was abducted, sold and brought to the United States; where I was forced to compete in the worlds first all monkey Baseball League
A picture of me in my baseball uniform.
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The league was disbanded after only one season, due to financial difficulties. (I hit .320 with 22 home runs as the leadoff hitter and shotstop for the Kitsap King Krabs. A record which stands to this day I proudly add.)

After the disbandonment of the league, I was sold to N.A.S.A. and placed into their astronaut program.
A picture of me, shortly before my first launch into outer space.
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I was used as a test astronaut in a highly clbumified mission, which resulted in several new inventions which the government has yet to release, and a dramatically altered monkey.
The shuttlecraft I occupied, was bombarded by a form of cosmic radiation (please hold the Fantastic Four jokes, I have heard them all), which increased my intelligence to that of an above average intelligence human being.

For a time I tried to hide my intelligence, out of fear of becoming a (no pun intended) lab monkey.
However, I fell in with the wrong crowd, and began drinking heavily, and became saddled with a rather large gambling debt.

I soon hit rock bottom, and in a drunken stupor, attempted to rob a convenience store, and was apprehended.
Perhaps if I had not been so drunk, I would not have been foolishly yelling “DOWN WITH THE MAN BABY “**** ALL OF YOU PIGS!”, while being arrested, thus giving away my secret.

The Government, needless to say, quickly stepped in and began to test (a bit too thoroughly for my taste) and train me.

Due to my superior strength, agility and coordination, it was decided that I would make an outstanding covert operative.

Now, ten years later, (and sadly less fur on my head), you can see what I look like today.
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I am a handsome devil aren’t I. use the highlighted letters to read the message stupid humans

OK….
Apparently I am being told that my post was TL;DR and that people are too stupid to figure out how to read the encoded message…good grief humans are daft…just send me a damned tubmail or click the bloody klan link if you want to become a spy, though obviously you would all stink at it!

Monkey in a suit with a gun Posted:

OK….
Apparently I am being told that my post was TL;DR and that people are too stupid to figure out how to read the encoded message…good grief humans are daft…just send me a damned tubmail or click the bloody klan link if you want to become a spy, though obviously you would all stink at it!

I think that decoding the message should be a prerequisite.

was Posted:

I think that decoding the message should be a prerequisite.

I agree with you, but my superiors informed me that I am too “windy”...bloody twits. They said that my tl;dr post was too “confusing”...and that the fools can be properly trained later.

dy usy vpxjj jkkoxah mks sybswxpv

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YOUR COMING OUT MADE ME THINK ABOUT REVEALING THE IDENTITY OF CAPAIN SODA BUT IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD ALL PROBABLY BE KILLED SO ON SECOND THOUGHT I WONT

I suggest joining.

The link is broken

Golden Horde edited this message on 06/14/2008 1:12AM

I approve of this klan.

bump