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Sticky Alright, how to ACT sober...

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

I’m certain more than a few of us have been intoxicated when we shouldn’t be. Do you have any tricks for “acting” sober?

When pulled over?

When interviewing for a job?

When visiting your mother?

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

I don’t know how I do it, but I’ve sober’d up real ****ing quick when the cops get involved. Adrenaline might be the key. Log in to see images!

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

ok ok. Real advice. Stay calm. Absolute first rule, stay calm. As soon as you’re excited about anything you show how drunk you are.



Stay calm and ONLY answer questions and do not, I repeat, DO NOT, answer any questions posed by the popo.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

If driving and you’ve swerved and you think there’s any chance a cop might have seen it, have your buddy light you a cigarette and give it to you. If you’re pulled over he’ll tell you to put it out, but his senses will be off already so you’ve got a better chance of not being breathalyzed. Also if he asks why you swerved back there you can now say you dropped your cig while driving (not illegal in any US state or any other country I know of).

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

If you really wish to show some balls (and have the money for a good lawyer): Crack a beer when he asks you to step out of the car.

As soon as you step out open a beer and start drinking. Don’t answer “why” you did it, just do it. Then he can’t prove that you were drunk beforehand. This does DEFINITELY require a good lawyer, but you can’t get in any more trouble than you already are.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

You got some whiskey male reproductive organ and just can’t get off while ****ing your girl: Remember the other hole.

If you’re doin’ her in the bum remember how tight her vag was. We all know her bum isn’t as tight, that thing stretches like a ****ing carnival balloon… if you’re givin it to her proper imagine the taboo of the backdoor. It’s a tried and true method. At that point all you got to do is great times, one way or another. Log in to see images!

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

Perhaps a mod should rename this thread NSFW.

I kow you’re drinking this up, Nicco.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

If you’re at work just remember it’s all your fault.

No matter what’s wrong it’s your fault. That way the boss is happy that they can blame someone.



They’ll yell at you a minute then you can go back to sneaking sips int he back and enjoying the rest of your day.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

Here’s a big one: Your girl asks you anything:

The answer is yes!!



Yeah, sometimes it’ll be “does this make me look fat” or something like that, but most times it’ll be very special and she will LOVE that you agreed with her.

On the off chance that it’s about her being fat (lets face it, she is) you play the “oh man, I’m sorry honey, no no that’s perfect for your figure” card, and she’ll love you for it. Just say you meant “yes” as in “yes I want that!”

She won’t believe you, but she’ll love the effort. Trust me, it works. It’s a drunks fallback.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

So you’re at your mom’s house and want to act sober… DON’T

Mom needs to nknow abpout you’re proiblem. Thta’s all there is about that.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

Alright, give me a sits, guys. When are you goinjg to be drinking and need to act sober?

Billy Batts

Avatar: 242165 2010-09-06 13:46:17 -0400
6

Level 25 Troll

Now go home and get your ****in' shinebox.

First to two can be achieved. But trying to fool your mother that your not drunk is going to be tough.

male reproductive organFACEPANTS

Avatar: 60174 2010-06-14 22:20:22 -0400
18

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 65 Troll

REDNECK fine upstanding member of societyfabulous person WHORE

Rule of thumb: If the cops ask you to blow into the Breathalyzer, refuse. Say absolutely no. Tell the cop to go **** himself.

Yes, he will book you. Yes, you will show up in front of the judge. But if you blow into the Breathalyzer, that’s it, you’re a goner. If you refuse, a REALLY, REALLY good lawyer can prove there is not enough evidence that you were drunk and can drill holes in the cops testimony. So at least you have a (albeit slim) chance of preserving your career and the rest of your life, not to mention your anal virginity.

Adapt

Avatar: 58104 2011-10-31 21:36:25 -0400
16

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 48 Camwhore

Celerysteve Changed Adapt's Custom Title

male reproductive organFACEPANTS Posted:

Rule of thumb: If the cops ask you to blow into the Breathalyzer, refuse. Say absolutely no. Tell the cop to go **** himself.

Yes, he will book you. Yes, you will show up in front of the judge. But if you blow into the Breathalyzer, that’s it, you’re a goner. If you refuse, a REALLY, REALLY good lawyer can prove there is not enough evidence that you were drunk and can drill holes in the cops testimony. So at least you have a (albeit slim) chance of preserving your career and the rest of your life, not to mention your anal virginity.

Idk about whatever place you live in, but refusing one of those tests, while not illegal, will get your license suspended for a certain amount of time. Even if you weren’t even drunk.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

Adapt Posted:

Idk about whatever place you live in, but refusing one of those tests, while not illegal, will get your license suspended for a certain amount of time. Even if you weren’t even drunk.

In WA state the jail time and fines double if you’re convicted so it’s a big gamble to refuse.

male reproductive organFACEPANTS

Avatar: 60174 2010-06-14 22:20:22 -0400
18

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 65 Troll

REDNECK fine upstanding member of societyfabulous person WHORE

Adapt Posted:

Idk about whatever place you live in, but refusing one of those tests, while not illegal, will get your license suspended for a certain amount of time. Even if you weren’t even drunk.

Dude, screw the license. You take that test and a conviction is 100% certain. And if you work in certain jobs like network security a conviction means you kiss your career goodbye.

I’d rather take the bus for the rest of my life.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

male reproductive organFACEPANTS Posted:

Dude, screw the license. You take that test and a conviction is 100% certain. And if you work in certain jobs like network security a conviction means you kiss your career goodbye.

I’d rather take the bus for the rest of my life.

Depending on your driving and criminal record even a public defender can get you deffered judgment. Nothing on your record unless you do it again. Then you’re ****ed.

I’m no expert in the laws of all the states and countries, I just know my lawyer strongly recommends cooperating fully, which includes taking the breathalyzer, but answer no questions. (Washington state lawyer)

male reproductive organFACEPANTS

Avatar: 60174 2010-06-14 22:20:22 -0400
18

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 65 Troll

REDNECK fine upstanding member of societyfabulous person WHORE

Bacchus Posted:

Depending on your driving and criminal record even a public defender can get you deffered judgment. Nothing on your record unless you do it again. Then you’re ****ed.

I’m no expert in the laws of all the states and countries, I just know my lawyer strongly recommends cooperating fully, which includes taking the breathalyzer, but answer no questions. (Washington state lawyer)

Yeah…

Or I guess you could not drive while drunk.

sdgrbbum09

Avatar: 165234 2012-12-05 02:59:05 -0500
22

[A Beautiful Place -
Out in the Country
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM A BOVINE ****WAD

male reproductive organFACEPANTS Posted:

Or I guess you could not drive while drunk.

Seriously guys, don’t drink and drive. If you get in an accident your car will get all ****ed up and then you won’t be able to drive anywhere to drink until it’s fixed.

Edit: Oh and the whole “refusing the breathlyzer” thing is a really bad idea. If they think you are/were drunk they’ll charge you with DUI anyway and use your refusal to take the test in court against you.

sdgrbass09 edited this message on 10/29/2010 12:28AM

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

sdgrbbum09 Posted:

Seriously guys, don’t drink and drive. If you get in an accident your car will get all ****ed up and then you won’t be able to drive anywhere to drink until it’s fixed.

/discussion

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