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Art I'm vegetarian, so instead of getting McMurders/Murder King/Murder Wendy's I head straight for the Border, its taco bell and Yo Quero a half pound of potatoes and cheese for only 79 cents. I slap down a 2o spot (new bill! Sometimes Euros) and whisper the

iIRZ

Avatar: iIRZ's Avatar

[Team Shortbus]

Level 7 Troll

iIRZ is a funny fine upstanding member of society, which is to say that he did WTC and your mom

I’m vegetarian, so instead of getting McMurders/Murder King/Murder Wendy’s I head straight for the Border, its taco bell and Yo Quero a half pound of potatoes and cheese for only 79 cents. I slap down a 2o spot (new bill! Sometimes Euros) and whisper the code phrase “Taco Time” and Lasha (day manager for day crew natch, shes mixed race!!! Great Eyes) knows whats up, the employee only door is opened and they lock the entrance and pull down the shades. I’ve paid the cost to be the boss and now its time to get my just desserts, a 5 minute shopping spree except instead of toys and clothes its food ingredients and instead OF A SHOpping cart its my fabulous person mouth. They use caulking guns to spray in the sour cream and tell me have you ever downed 3.5 pounds of sour cream in a single breath??? No?????????? Ha ha didn’t think so bro, no worries its fun yeah but honestly you don’t look like the kind of person who’d appreciate it no offense. After wheting my appetite I look up, burning daylight as the scoreboard counts down the seconds, its over to the churros, punch down a bakers doz to revitalize me and counteract the heavy creme curdlin in my gullyguts (got a soft layer of fat that the taco boys love, MMh! I’m a Big Beautiful Male). Like a cow grazing in a field I dip my face in the individual condiment and ingredient tins — snarf snarf Mmm its tortillas, gurn gurbnnm ahhhh some refreshing olive-flavored water (out of olives? wat? calm down take it in stride) and oh my!!! yes its pinto beans!!! Slam Dunk. Drool and juice are running down my flabby boiled chest as I choke down a bin of cubed tomatoes and the 2 minute warning buzzer brings me back from my dreamland. My eyes narrow & I imagine myself holding a sword. Two swords maybe. I see the great white whale, a steaming cauldron of 350 pounds of taco meat. Its always eluded me …. given me bull**** dreams about failure (often I have problem with my teeth in such dreams and equally often I am in h.s. again and bein bullied) and I have had enough. Man has been tamed, man has been made into a P.C. automaton. NO MORE. I renounce my ways. Every True God Is Both Creator & Destoryer. (-Punchon) I grab a trash bag full of Fire Sacuse and take off my slacks and shirt and undershirt and medical knee brace(s) and dive HEADFIRST INTO THAT ****. IT OUTWEIGHTS ME BY 20 POUNDS BUT I HAVE THE PbumION. CHOMPIN AND SCARFIN. THE TACO DUDES LOOK ON IN SHOCK! “WHOA HES GOING FOR IT” THE OLDEST AMONG THEM IS NAMED RASCO AND HE IS A CHILEAN WHO SPEAKS LITTLE ENGLISH. “FIRE SAUCE BE THE DEATH OF YOU, BLANCO” BUT I AM A MAN, I AM FINALLY ALIVE AND I AM NOT AFRAID. I START TO GET A LITTLE HARD AS THE FEELING OF MUSHED UP TACOMEAT IS WHAT I IMAGINE A GIRLS WHOHA TO FEEL LIKE, BUT NOTHING WILL DISTRACT ME, INSTEAD I USE MY SEXUAL ECSTACY TO SWALLOW FASTER. I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND THERE IS NO TOMORROW. AS I SINK DEEPER INTO THE CAULDRON I ENVISION THE WOMB … MY MOTHER WAS A NO SHOW, RUMORED TO BE ITALIAN … COINCIDENCE? THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES. MY STOMACH, EFFICIENT, HAS ALREADY TURNED THE SOUR CREAM INTO GAS AND SO I START TO MAKE SPACE, CLENCHING MY CHEEKS SO THE GAS WILL PRODUCE A PLEASANT WHISTLE NOT UNLIKE REGGAETON MUSIC THAT LATINOS LOVE. THE TACO SQUAD BEGINS A SLOW CRESCENDO OF APPLAUSE, CLAPS TURN TO SHOUTS, AND THE FINAL NOUGAT OF MEATS SLIMES INTO MY MOUTH AS THE SCOREBOARD EXPLODES, SHOOTING SPARKS OVER THE ENTIRETY OF THE TACO BELL KITCHEN PREP AREA. SOON I WILL BE CARRIED AWAY ON CONTENT SHOULDERS, LATER WILL COME THE HONORS AND TROPHIES AND CONCUBINES, STILL AFTER THAT THE TALL TALES AND LEGENDS, BUT FOR NOW I SIT NAKED IN A CAULDRON BEREFT OF MEAT FOOD PRODUCT, FARTING AND ****ING (FORGOT TO MENTION THAT) FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN I LOVE MY COUNTRY, RIGHT OR WRONG. ALSO I AM UNEMPLOYED AND THE ****ER HIRING MANAGER AT BEST Buy won’t return my phone calls (am seeking legal recourse).


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sdgrbbum09

Avatar: 165234 2015-08-12 01:30:51 -0400
26

[A Beautiful Place -
Out in the Country
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM A BOVINE bum BAR

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Patently Chi-
ll Prestidig-
itator

Avatar: 128746 2011-10-09 04:24:59 -0400
8

[love is a dog from-
hell
]

Level 69 Troll

Celerysteve is incredible... he is just so... so incredible.

dude iirz you have got to stop tripping on acid so i actually have the patience to read your posts


Joseph of Suburbia Posted:

im about to do a fuknig pirouette off the handle numpnuts if you dont find this completely hilarious i guess you are just completely dumb geez dont you get this is the funniest stuff ever

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iIRZ

Avatar: iIRZ's Avatar

[Team Shortbus]

Level 7 Troll

iIRZ is a funny fine upstanding member of society, which is to say that he did WTC and your mom

this is for real hilarious


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iIRZ Posted:

out of olives? wat? calm down take it in stride

Can’t get any worse imho.


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xsundae

Avatar: 230091 2010-09-03 00:23:09 -0400
4

[WeChall]

Level 68 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

iIRZ Posted:

I’m vegetarian, so instead of getting McMurders/Murder King/Murder Wendy’s I head straight for the Border, its taco bell and Yo Quero a half pound of potatoes and cheese for only 79 cents. I slap down a 2o spot (new bill! Sometimes Euros) and whisper the code phrase “Taco Time” and Lasha (day manager for day crew natch, shes mixed race!!! Great Eyes) knows whats up, the employee only door is opened and they lock the entrance and pull down the shades. I’ve paid the cost to be the boss and now its time to get my just desserts, a 5 minute shopping spree except instead of toys and clothes its food ingredients and instead OF A SHOpping cart its my fabulous person mouth. They use caulking guns to spray in the sour cream and tell me have you ever downed 3.5 pounds of sour cream in a single breath??? No?????????? Ha ha didn’t think so bro, no worries its fun yeah but honestly you don’t look like the kind of person who’d appreciate it no offense. After wheting my appetite I look up, burning daylight as the scoreboard counts down the seconds, its over to the churros, punch down a bakers doz to revitalize me and counteract the heavy creme curdlin in my gullyguts (got a soft layer of fat that the taco boys love, MMh! I’m a Big Beautiful Male). Like a cow grazing in a field I dip my face in the individual condiment and ingredient tins — snarf snarf Mmm its tortillas, gurn gurbnnm ahhhh some refreshing olive-flavored water (out of olives? wat? calm down take it in stride) and oh my!!! yes its pinto beans!!! Slam Dunk. Drool and juice are running down my flabby boiled chest as I choke down a bin of cubed tomatoes and the 2 minute warning buzzer brings me back from my dreamland. My eyes narrow & I imagine myself holding a sword. Two swords maybe. I see the great white whale, a steaming cauldron of 350 pounds of taco meat. Its always eluded me …. given me bull**** dreams about failure (often I have problem with my teeth in such dreams and equally often I am in h.s. again and bein bullied) and I have had enough. Man has been tamed, man has been made into a P.C. automaton. NO MORE. I renounce my ways. Every True God Is Both Creator & Destoryer. (-Punchon) I grab a trash bag full of Fire Sacuse and take off my slacks and shirt and undershirt and medical knee brace(s) and dive HEADFIRST INTO THAT ****. IT OUTWEIGHTS ME BY 20 POUNDS BUT I HAVE THE PbumION. CHOMPIN AND SCARFIN. THE TACO DUDES LOOK ON IN SHOCK! “WHOA HES GOING FOR IT” THE OLDEST AMONG THEM IS NAMED RASCO AND HE IS A CHILEAN WHO SPEAKS LITTLE ENGLISH. “FIRE SAUCE BE THE DEATH OF YOU, BLANCO” BUT I AM A MAN, I AM FINALLY ALIVE AND I AM NOT AFRAID. I START TO GET A LITTLE HARD AS THE FEELING OF MUSHED UP TACOMEAT IS WHAT I IMAGINE A GIRLS WHOHA TO FEEL LIKE, BUT NOTHING WILL DISTRACT ME, INSTEAD I USE MY SEXUAL ECSTACY TO SWALLOW FASTER. I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND THERE IS NO TOMORROW. AS I SINK DEEPER INTO THE CAULDRON I ENVISION THE WOMB … MY MOTHER WAS A NO SHOW, RUMORED TO BE ITALIAN … COINCIDENCE? THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES. MY STOMACH, EFFICIENT, HAS ALREADY TURNED THE SOUR CREAM INTO GAS AND SO I START TO MAKE SPACE, CLENCHING MY CHEEKS SO THE GAS WILL PRODUCE A PLEASANT WHISTLE NOT UNLIKE REGGAETON MUSIC THAT LATINOS LOVE. THE TACO SQUAD BEGINS A SLOW CRESCENDO OF APPLAUSE, CLAPS TURN TO SHOUTS, AND THE FINAL NOUGAT OF MEATS SLIMES INTO MY MOUTH AS THE SCOREBOARD EXPLODES, SHOOTING SPARKS OVER THE ENTIRETY OF THE TACO BELL KITCHEN PREP AREA. SOON I WILL BE CARRIED AWAY ON CONTENT SHOULDERS, LATER WILL COME THE HONORS AND TROPHIES AND CONCUBINES, STILL AFTER THAT THE TALL TALES AND LEGENDS, BUT FOR NOW I SIT NAKED IN A CAULDRON BEREFT OF MEAT FOOD PRODUCT, FARTING AND ****ING (FORGOT TO MENTION THAT) FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN I LOVE MY COUNTRY, RIGHT OR WRONG. ALSO I AM UNEMPLOYED AND THE ****ER HIRING MANAGER AT BEST Buy won’t return my phone calls (am seeking legal recourse).

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean et ligula nisl. Praesent turpis dolor, molestie id egestas ac, gravida id lectus. Pellentesque nisi arcu, molestie et posuere sit amet, condimentum non purus. Donec eget magna metus, a bibendum risus. Nulla adipiscing, nisi sit amet dictum pulvinar, augue velit porta est, vel fringilla mbuma urna in mi. Proin cursus dignissim nibh ut pharetra. In odio neque, tempus malesuada rutrum sed, porta et nibh. Clbum aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Proin a dolor nisi. Pellentesque molestie augue feugiat diam aliquam sit amet semper nulla tincidunt. Donec justo risus, fermentum et sagittis vel, semper id tortor. Vestibulum placerat auctor luctus. Ut non ipsum et nunc varius dapibus. Nunc eget pulvinar erat. Suspendisse ullamcorper urna libero. Morbi laoreet felis sit amet metus semper aliquet. Sed sed semper velit. Ut ullamcorper augue quis velit lobortis bibendum. Pellentesque eu tellus sed neque sollicitudin congue congue at mi. Mauris nec nisi sem. Pellentesque eget arcu erat, at eleifend sem. Suspendisse porta condimentum bibendum. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Vestibulum pharetra velit vel arcu lobortis consectetur tincidunt arcu faucibus. Vestibulum tortor leo, pretium at facilisis sit amet, egestas non ipsum. Curabitur eget leo vitae leo tristique interdum. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Nunc sapien leo, interdum ornare ullamcorper ut, vehicula sit amet mi. Sed volutpat interdum consequat. Ut eu magna lorem. Donec et odio et enim lobortis imperdiet. Morbi bibendum viverra elit, ut facilisis arcu acgreat timessan quis. Nullam sed tellus eu sem tristique sagittis. Cras nec venenatis libero. Nunc ornare felis at metus posuere consectetur ac a lectus. Cras turpis mbuma, rhoncus sit amet viverra et, varius ut dui. Clbum aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Aenean suscipit orci sollicitudin erat elementum gravida. Nam sed nulla a lectus placerat tristique a vel odio. Cras vitae purus erat, non egestas diam. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Duis dapibus, est a volutpat facilisis, mi purus sollicitudin eros, at porttitor magna nunc eu lacus. Mauris dignissim sapien ut tellus fermentum semper. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Mauris sed felis sapien, ut ullamcorper est. Nulla ac consequat sem. Suspendisse a faucibus enim. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec turpis quam, tincidunt ut mattis a, mattis id enim. Nulla facilisi. Sed quis lorem ipsum. Praesent nec mbuma ac mbuma vehicula sagittis a sed lorem. Etiam bibendum ligula eu lectus ullamcorper fermentum. Proin luctus sem ipsum, placerat sollicitudin sem. Sed faucibus pellentesque est, ac ornare purus vestibulum non. Duis mauris libero, interdum eu placerat non, molestie ullamcorper ligula. Nulla volutpat scelerisque arcu vel facilisis. Cras leo mbuma, pellentesque at hendrerit ac, tempus non enim. Sed mattis condimentum dui, vitae tempus neque porta sit amet. Aenean mi tortor, fermentum sed aliquam ut, egestas ac turpis. Curabitur ac lorem at turpis varius sollicitudin nec a urna. Nunc eleifend, nisi sit amet tristique lacinia, lacus lorem acgreat timessan erat, eget porttitor nulla sem ac metus. Maecenas vel sem et nunc iaculis cursus. Duis nec ligula ac elit imperdiet ullamcorper. Fusce sed posuere ipsum. Integer dignissim erat nec purus vulputate et luctus risus sagittis. Duis quis placerat diam. Duis sed mauris orci. Phasellus consequat, eros ut faucibus imperdiet, lacus risus ornare ante, sed ullamcorper ipsum leo eu libero. Ut sit amet felis laoreet mbuma pellentesque tempor eu ac purus. Ut tempor lacus id erat eleifend pulvinar. Vivamus luctus metus non eros bibendum congue. Pellentesque mollis rutrum velit in ullamcorper. Sed tellus eros, dignissim at ornare in, interdum ut felis. Fusce sit amet orci sit amet justo commodo laoreet. Cras id porta lorem.


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

mterek

Avatar: 192622 2009-09-24 16:39:01 -0400
18

[mahjong]

Level 69 Re-Re

$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$

If you are a vegetarian, why did you go to Taco Bell, knowing that they put meat in their tacos?

male reproductive organFACEPANTS

Avatar: 60174 2010-06-14 22:20:22 -0400
18

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 65 Troll

REDNECK fine upstanding member of societyfabulous person WHORE

Wow great post OP you’re not a fabulous person at all I mean Bel Aire would have been a nice touch but still good effort.


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

Adapt

Avatar: 58104 2015-06-13 23:16:37 -0400
16

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 48 Camwhore

Celerysteve is better than me in everyway imaginable

iIRZ Posted:

this is for real hilarious


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                                    This is the part where Single Tingle turns into Double Trouble and ends up in


If you don’t fall for the joke, you get to be in on it.

Celerysteve

Avatar: 61989 2011-12-28 11:21:37 -0500
24

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty
]

Level 35 Troll

Right from the moment when I saw Saw, I laughed.

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10/27/11 FLAMEBATE RPG UPDATED Flamebate RPG Dr. Seuss CS for Celerysteve Ban this Thread ET/Chuggo

twas

Avatar: 40896 2011-11-01 00:47:59 -0400
15

[fine upstanding member of society]

Level 35 Troll

Wher Have My Poor Imaginary Wife and Child Gone


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

Celerysteve Posted:

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Dude! Depp!

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male reproductive organFACEPANTS

Avatar: 60174 2010-06-14 22:20:22 -0400
18

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 65 Troll

REDNECK fine upstanding member of societyfabulous person WHORE

Bacchus Posted:

Dude! Depp!

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Fukken beat me to it.


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

Finny

Avatar: 57559 2011-07-31 00:11:12 -0400
7

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

BUMPS EVERYWHERE

=<

iIRZ

Avatar: iIRZ's Avatar

[Team Shortbus]

Level 7 Troll

iIRZ is a funny fine upstanding member of society, which is to say that he did WTC and your mom

thanks for your input “dumbbum fabulous person who donated to fwz shadowlolz”


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iIRZ

Avatar: iIRZ's Avatar

[Team Shortbus]

Level 7 Troll

iIRZ is a funny fine upstanding member of society, which is to say that he did WTC and your mom

i meant male reproductive organFACEPANTS or w/e but all donaters are the same 2 me.


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Tesfan

Avatar: 17396 2011-07-31 06:49:56 -0400
3

[Team Shortbus]

Level 35 Troll

Sucks **** through a straw in the face of convention

this rules


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twas

Avatar: 40896 2011-11-01 00:47:59 -0400
15

[fine upstanding member of society]

Level 35 Troll

Wher Have My Poor Imaginary Wife and Child Gone


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

Spearman

Avatar: Red Green Flashing

Level 18 Troll

“Li'l Hellraiser”

tl;dr

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