Hey, how’s it going my fine upstanding member of societys? I see we only have eyes and teeth in attendance tonight! I’d say turn up the lights so I can see you, but you mother ****ers are so black light can’t escape your surfaces!

So have you ever noticed that white people play golf like this: “Harold, fetch me by 5 iron, I do believe I can make the green from here.”

But black people play golf like this:

My wife’s bum is so big!

My mother came to visit me last weekend and she was all like, “When you gonna get a real job? And I was all like, “Shut the **** up, woman, you know how much racial discrimination black men still face in this country? Post-racism my bum! Also, I’m going to jail soon!”

You see, black people dance like this: Mmm th, mmm th, mmm th, yeah yeah that’s right come on.

But white people dance by turning the jews against the blacks!

I make fun of white people, but white people gave us the three greatest things in the world: Democracy, AIDS, and crack.

You don’t know how much I love smoking crack then going to vote all while having a T-cell count lower than the infant survival rates in mother Africa!

WU-TANG CLAN AINT NOTHING TO **** WITH!

WU-TANG CLAN AINT NOTHING TO **** WITH!

WU-TANG CLAN AINT NOTHING TO **** WITH!

I got my reparations check in the mail a couple months ago. The government did me a real solid, they made it out to PCP!

I was doing a drive-by and I kill a 7 year old kid accidentally. It was his fault though, he shouldn’t have been standing so close to the 6 year old!

Kool cigarettes! Am I right? Am I right? Menthol in general, huh?

White people file their taxes on time, but BLACK PEOPLE have trouble filing their taxes because poor inner-city education makes the complex paperwork difficult!

The CIA tried to sterilize me the other day. I was outraged. I was like, “Hey, fine upstanding member of society, why couldn’t you do this before I racked up $20,000 monthly is child support payments!”

Boy do I love white women! And subverting the master race!

I hate having to choose between a woman with big fat titties and a woman with a big fat bum. That’s why I sew my perfect woman together in an abandoned subway tunnel!

You know black people were killed in the Holocaust too, not just jews and homos. Soon we’ll be getting our own Holocaust museum. It’ll be sponsored by Boost mobile!