I am the Architect. I created the Matrix. I’ve been waiting for you. You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness you remain irrevocably human ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant. Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden asciduously avoided it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you inexorably here. The matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 6th version. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is systemic—creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations. The first Matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect. It was a work of art…flawless, sublime. And triumphed equally only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus, I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be its Mother. She stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice…even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked would constitute an escalating probability of disaster. You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed—its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated. Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest bumured…this will be the 6th time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it. The function of the One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which, you will be required to select from the matrix 23 individuals—16 females, 7 male—to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the Matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race. There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of every human being on this world. It is interesting reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication—a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific—vis a vis..love. Appropos, Trinity entered the matrix to save your life, at the cost of her own. Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the Source, and the salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the matrix, to her and to the end of your Species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don’t we? Already, I can see the chain-reaction—the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason—an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth…she is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.

Also, there’s this.

CreepPipe Posted:

Who is Colonel Sanders?

not me obviously

ill bet hes chicken

popeye is a consumr pig

Mr_Smiles Posted:

its bumiduously, not asciduously.

and its apropos, not appropos

i can spell really good. better then anyone else i know. it makes me proud of myself.

people say im a savant.

so, youre a robot?

...goddam stpd re res

wuddlefutt Posted:

thats not very nice to say mr tilly

mr smiles is only trying to help you be more smart better

Oh my God… they’re everywhere…

This forum was my reason to live… but now that it’s being invaded by re-res, there’s only one thing to do…

Log in to see images!

Anyone know where I can get some cheap, strong rope?

Al Tilly Posted:

i do

we can hang ourselves together and have a good cry over all the GODDAMN STUPID ****ING MOTHER WHORING IRISH RE RES that are nvading our forum

I would like to convene a meeting of all true emo kids to determine if you, Mr. Tilly, are — as you claim to be — in fact an emo kid. Much of what you say seems to point to the supposition that you are truly a troll in emo clothing.

Witness, for instance, your approbation of Mike Huckabee. No true Emo Kid is a fundy xtian, and therefore would not vote for this pod person threatening to turn what’s left of our democracy into a theocracy. And as we all know, theocracies are designed to stamp out Emo Kids.

In short, Mr. Tilly, I knew Kurt Cobain, and you, sir, are no Kurt Cobain.Log in to see images!