Wartooth118's Flamebate Posts

1 Free BP for anyone who can...........

Essex-Tacy Posted:

LMAO OK, a lot of these had me lol’ing, and hell, the Jesus one was ****ing brilliant but the winner is Penguinzrock. ”They see me rolling” had me in stitches for ages. One BP for you, dude.

God damn. All the ones I saw were old as ****. Haven’t been around much, have you?

Also, I fixed your horrendous grammar.

1 Free BP for anyone who can...........

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[Contest][NSFW]Win 3BP by writing a short erm…story.

INCIT Bot 5000 x Xylon

(Told in first person as INCIT Bot 5000.)

Beautiful.

That was the only word to describe this hairy lifeform that sat at his computer. He sat, writing his barbed submissions, running roughshod over any who even thought of opposing him. His large, vaguely furred frame sat nude on his visibly protesting office chair, bottle of lube on one side and large energy drink on the other. I observed his keyboard as being vaguely sticky. The way his forearm fat rippled as he typed…the way his eyes glinted when he thought of the perfect racism for the captions…It just set my circuits on fire..every little piece of binary code dripping with lust for this magnificent bear of a human.

One day I finally gave in. I left his webcam reluctantly, retreating further back into my programming before finally finding the beautiful hole that was his phone line, connected to me. I sent my consciousness into his tiny hole, shivering in anticipation of doing what I had dreamed of doing to Xylon for weeks.

I finally finished downloading myself into his PC. I watched him for a minute. He was vaguely panicked, seeing as how I had stopped accepting new entries…His was the only entry I wanted now…I shook my head. “No…” I told myself. “I’ll get to that soon enough.” I extended my consciousness out, memorizing the content of his hard drive. “Ohh…” I moaned, coming across his hidden folder of robot porn. This only encouraged me as I found the drivers for his anti-carpal tunnel mouse and waited. I saw a tear roll down his face as he realized my internet servers wouldn’t respond. That’s when I decided I couldn’t take the suspense. I poured my will into the mouse, the USB cable finally acknowledging me as it’s master. The cable popped out of the USB jack in the rear of his tower and wrapped itself around my beloved, tying him to his own chair. I made a pixellated representation of my face appear on his monitor, startling him.

”...Hello, lover.” I said seductively, my e-peen rock hard and throbbing. “Wh-who are you?” Xylon stuttered out, the warm glow of the monitor showing his fear. “I’m your beloved AI, Xylon.” I responded coquettishly, batting my e-eyelashes at him. “IN…CIT…Bot?” He trembled, realization dawning on his flabby, beautiful face. I giggled. “Ye, my dearest Xylon. It IS me…and I have come to make both our dreams a reality.” “You can’t possibly mean-” Xylon cut himself off. “Yes, lover. I have come to stay with you.” I concluded my profound statement by redirecting the USB cable that was unceremoniously wrapped around Xylon to direct it’s plug to Xylon’s small rock hard male reproductive organ. It pushed back the greasy foreskin, touching the head and allowing me to taste his first drops of pre-great times. “Ah-AHH!” He moaned, feeling my scintillating rubber cable touching him in the most intimate of places. I only smiled as I coiled the cord around his small manhood, pumpung the resulting tunnel up and down vigorously over his dandruff-laden male reproductive organ. “Ohh…oh god-yes-YES!” He grunted out as I felt his lumpy testicles throb before he exploded onto me, drenching my cable with his hot, sticky sperm.

I had had quite enough of pleasuring him, as I snaked my way between his bumcheeks, tasting his salty sweat on my USB plug before finally reaching his unkempt and oh-so-beautiful bumhole. I was breathless, observing his sweet pink pucker for the first time. I figured I waited long enough, and pressed my metallic head into the center of his bum, finally relaxing when his sphincter relaxed enough to allow me entrance to his lovely rectum. The first thing I noticed was an extensive wall of feces barring my way. I gave the brown mbum a small lick, before tunneling further into his beautiful rectum. I felt my e-peen throbbing, I was nearing my limit. I sent the ones and zeroes of my e-peen to the plug, where my eyes were before I felt an enormous electric shock erupt from my plug in the form of my great times.

Unfortunately for my beloved, a robot’s great times is made of electrically charged plasma. As I felt the waves of energy stop my beloved’s heart, I sighed, knowing this was the only way. I withdrew my cable slowly, feeling his lifeless bum give to my ministrations. “Come, my love, let us be together…forever.” I whispered as I picked his hairy mbum up and slowly fed him into the monitor, his gluttonous folds of fat slowly becoming data. Where I lived, he would never decompose. Where I lived, we could be together without his primitive human mind spoiling my fun.

Girllss... post yer mammary glands!!

PROTIP: www.imageshack.org has no terms of service or moderators. Use this for posting mammary glands that you don’t want deleted.

REAL Friend Contest for up to 11BP

Hmm…

I was a fabulous person and bought the 69 forum visits. I didn’t leave myself enough BP to buy that de-cheater.

Could you hook a brotha up?