I updated my phone sex profile

I want to wear pretty pink panties and be called Susan. Flick lit cigarettes at my eyes and **** in my mouth. Make me wear a novelty oversized cowboy hat and ride a tricycle covered in maple syrup. Stick a firehose in your woman's genitals while you sing the star-spangled banner in vietnamese. Abduct a hobo with me so we can pierce his nipples and dress him in a tuxedo made out of meat. I want you to wear one of those cones dogs get at the vet so I can fill it with M&M’s up to your nose. Then I am going to put live crickets in there while you carve the words to the magna carta on my chest with a rusty spork.