Ive been depressed for awhile now, I have no one. My own father is a homosexual, bad father who moved to florida with out telling me, and never wants to see me, my mother has aids from my father and I want to keep her healthy, but shes more interested in the drug obsessed lives of my brothers whoreish, (literally they sell themselves for $20 to pay for drugs) girl friends who say their kids are my brothers when its way to obvious that their and unknown john’s, I have no other family, im living on my own with a boyfriend who just their because hes never had anything else, and he treats me that way, my friends are only interested if they can get something, or not at all, if i disappeared no one would notice, cutting myself feels great, but today ive gone numb, now even the razor feels like nothing. im bleeding but not even the colors make me feel good any more, more and more is coming out, my laptop is pretty bloody now, but nothing….

i feel nothing…..

im not comfortable w talking to strangers, it feels good to hold my breath as long as I can and just try not to breathe,

I just wish I could fall asleep and not let go,

feels like no point,

feels like….................................