I sense that you still can’t come to terms with it even when it is pointed out. There is that sense of resentment in your words. You can’t let go, because your anger is your safety blanket and you feel vulnerable without it. You don’t want to feel vulnerable again I understand that. The day Grandpa taught you a new game he wanted to play & you could not tell anybody, you felt vulnerable that day. You will never allow that to happen again. It’s ok though. It really is. What he did was wrong yes, but you don’t have to feel that way. You can sit in my lap and feel safe. You don’t have to worry about Mr. pee pee wanting to say hello to your tonsils anymore.