Well then, perhaps a tale of pious and Godly folk would be more to your liking? Splendid! A group of sailors aboard a whaling ship gathered round in great amusement, singing merrily round a tub of sperm oil they would watch one another lean in over its contents to “oil their pennywhistles”. The oil was sold to a candlemaker who fashioned it into altar candles and a whole convent of nuns became pregnant.